It seems like every time something new comes out in the news, whether it's some miracle food, or the easiest way to save money, something comes out to contradict it less than a week later. What I want to know is how much the studies and things that go down really have an affect on us. Like scientists saying large levels of mercury are found in tuna so you really should only eat it once a month, how many other facts do you think contradict that?

putting age in perspective

Isn’t it kind of funny-interesting to picture our grandparents even our parents at our age? To imagine how different life was for them compared to how it is now. And then to even imagine what life is going to be like for our own kids and grandkids. I find it mind blowing on how much can change in a single year, and how fast time goes all together.

I personally have no idea what the youth is going to look like in 20 years. Some may think it’ll go all to hell and that they will have little to no morals or values, because we’re seeing that at an increasing rate today. But maybe the awareness of what is going on will spread and have the opposite effect, making everyone perfect and respecting little beings. I would personally prefer that, but I’m thinking the likeliness of that happening is pretty slim.

What is to become of future generations? I know there is the whole global warming theory and the hum of nuclear war (a very faint hum I might add.) But what will it look like? What kind of music will be coming out in 20 years? It is so weird to think that artists like Chris Brown and Rhianna are going to be considered oldies when my generation has children. What will they call what we consider as oldies now? Will the Temptations even be spoken of or in movies or commercials in 20 years? They will be considered practically ancient by then.

Then there’s fashion! What will be considered hip in 20 years? Right now it seems like nearly anything goes, it’s just how you wear it. Trends from all time eras are inspiring top designers’ newest fashion, will that just continue? Will there come a point in time when nothing is original? When it seems like just about every plausible idea has already been done and then there is no longer any creativity? And then musicians, will they really need any actual personal talent? Or just enough money to pay for all the electronics that generate their sound? Will raw talent even be admired after people see computers can do the same thing at the click of a button?

I know this is all relatively extreme, well, really extreme, but I can’t help but wonder about it. And I’m sure I am not the only to ponder such, which also happens to support the no longer any original ideas theory. But I do think that a vast amount of time will make such happen. Twenty, even fifty years sounds too short to me.

I know I have a good year before graduation, but I sincerely cannot wait for my class reunions. It will be so much fun I think to see how people change throughout the years and see what they end up doing with their lives. I don’t even know what I will be planning on doing with my life, but finding that out will be interesting as well I’d have to say.

sponge bob :)

So this is supposed to be the first sponge bob episode to be aired on television, haha and I love it. :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lM79f2JrUVU

The never ending evolution of technology

sidekick.....

It seems like nearly every other week there’s some new gadget or ipod or phone or any sort of technology device. It’s impossible to keep up with it all and its impossible to always have the new thing, because the new thing most likely starts in some foreign country and by the time you pay the pricey shipping and have it delivered to your door, a week later there’s a new version of the device or something that is claimed to be better. (Like have more features, or is more durable, or whatever. )
The electronic industry is an extremely competitive field, and very fast paced. I don't think I could keep up with it. Even though, thanks to back to the future, we all thought we'd be in flying cars by now. Apparently, not the case, I'll give them another 10 years.

However what I really like about the industry today is how conservative they're trying to be. But it seems like every industry is "going green" in some way, so they would be frowned upon by everyone if they didn't.

Whats cool about technology now, is that nearly nothing is impossible, there is some scientific way to make just about anything happen. Some ideas would call for more attention then others, but still obtainable.

Facebook ratings

Wooow people this rating thing is getting ridiculous. Why is it so addicting to look online and stir up drama to see who thinks what about who? I admit, I have done a bit of looking around on facebook ratings, just to see what it is all about, but it's nothing but a bunch of people just trying to create drama. Seriously, cursing someone out via facebook does not make you tough. I honestly just sit there and laugh at some of the stupid things that people say.

I don't know why someone would make some of the different applications that are on facebook. Like honesty box? If you really have something to say about someone just tell it to their face. It is so irritating on what some of these applications are doing, it's literally tearing people apart. It's breaking down self esteems, its just plain dumb I think.

But I'm not bashing facebook completely, it's still a great way to keep in touch with people and see how people are doing, even if you don't get to see or talk to them everyday. AKA an easy way to stalk people, but who hasn't facebook creeped on someone from time to time? I know I have, but mostly just looking at pictures. People who read conversations and things like that take it a little too far if you ask me. Just like everything, there is a fine line we should all be careful not to cross.

manipulation via media

I know the media is a subject that has been beaten to a pulp, but it is still something I find myself becoming more and more aware of it and how manipulative it is. It is so hard to sit and watch a half hour long program and see commercial after commercial and not think just for a moment you want to try this or get that. I suppose the media would call that a success, being it is their primary goal to get people to consume their products. I mean sometimes, like when I get home after being out during the evening, I'll sit down in front of the T.V. and eat a bowl of cereal or something. There will be a commercial on when I sit down and then by the time I finish my cereal, I realize I don't know what program is supposed to be on and that I had just spent that entire time watching commercials. It's almost like our minds have become immune to advertisement and it is now our subconscious behaviors reacting to them. Like we aren't aware how much they truly affect us just because they have always been around. And advertisement has been dumbed down a lot too. I remember being in history class and looking at some old magazine ads and how intricate their designs were and how sophisticated the vocabulary was on the ad.

Advertisement then....

Advertisement now...



(I'm not supporting smoking or tobacco use by any means, I just thought it would be the easiest thing to google.)

Honestly, seeing the difference in the ads makes me just feel dumb because we don't have ads like that anymore. Even if a company were to try and use such an advertising tactic, it wouldn't be affective, honestly, who is going to take the time to sit and read a multi-paragraph ad. No one that I know of.

But the media isn't all about advertisement. The more I think about, I think it just lead to the conclusion that the media is just a representative of culture. Like television you would see in England would be different from that of America or Japan or Germany or whoever. And I mean more of a difference than just the language being spoke. Actually ads that are done in the English language are considered to be cooler in Germany.

Personally, I'm not too fond of the fact that shows on MTV are whats representing us as Americans anyways, how much of American culture is really respectable? Ha ha at least we know we're free....

Anyways, I know none of these thoughts are new or original by any means, but I still think we should stay aware of how much the media and advertisement is around us and affects us.

I don't understand why people make youtube, or any sort of comments slamming the video/artist. If they hate them so much why are they wasting their time watching the dumb video in the first place?

people are dumb.

and I would say Spoon consistently has the best music videos
(behind Jack White of course)

May Day!

So it's May 1st, and I feel like I blinked and there February, March and now April went by. It's hard to believe that the school year is very nearly over and that summer is just around the corner. The end of the year is always an emotional time, full of excitement and sadness and wonder for what is to come next. However, my intentions for this blog wasn't to talk about the ending school year, it was to compare other cultures to ours.

When I lived in England for seven months due to my father's job, I celebrated May day. Actually, my whole school did, and since my school building consisted of three rooms total, (disregarding the bathrooms and offices) literally, my whole school was involved. I was in third year at the time (which is like second grade here). I remember the big kids would have to practice dancing around the May Day pole with long ribbons in order to make a colorful design until the ribbons were completely wrapped around the pole. I remember I was fascinated by this action specifically because it was so different from anything I had ever seen or done back at home.

^This is basically what it looked like^

Acknowledging the fact that today is May Day, it made me wonder just how other cultures celebrate May Day, if they even celebrate it at all. Once I first moved here to Iowa, I remember some of my peers talking about May Day baskets. I had never heard of a May Day basket, and I was only a couple states away, which I also found interesting. How we can all consider ourselves the same (Americans) and still have totally different traditions, which probably descended from earlier ancestors that came from other countries.

Which leads to me thinking on our really, our culture is nothing original or traditional. It's all bits and pieces from other parts of the world. America truly is just a big melting pot of the world around it.

I'm getting side tracked, going back to the holiday May Day...
It turns out many places in Europe celebrate May 1st, and each with their own little quirk. However they do all have somethings in common, like using flowers, and doing things to bring them luck or kissing.

Though I lived in England, I don't remember the tradition that is supposedly done in London. The children go from house to house and bring flowers to get pennies in return. They then throw the pennies into a wishing well, and afterwards are collected and donated to charity.

France is a little different, and cows play an important role in May Day. They led in parades with many flowers attached to their tails and the people watching the parade try to touch the cows. Touching the cow an May Day is believed to bring good luck.

In Germany, one tradition is for boys to secretly plant a May tree in front of the window of the girl they love. My grandparents are 100% German, and I've never heard of this, nor do I know what a may tree looks like. But I am suddenly curious and want to ask them about some of their traditions as kids. (I guess a quick thorn tree is a May tree.)

^I wouldn't mind having one of these planted by my window :)

The people in Hawaii celebrate their own version of May Day. It's called Lei Day. What they do is they give Hawaiian leis to each other. After they put them around each other's necks they sometimes give a traditional kiss.

So there's a little taste of what today is like around the world. Makes me kind of wish America made a bigger deal out of May Day, it all sounds like a great way to welcome the (hopefully) nice weather.

I got all of this information at http://familycrafts.about.com/cs/mayholidays/a/aa041700a.htm
and all of my pictures off of google.

So today is the orientation thing for those who are doing a kirkwood class next year as a senior. This means they have their core classes in the morning at kennedy and then go do their kirkwood class in the afternoon. I am one of those people and boy am i nervous. It's so weird to think i'm actually going to be on a college campus with college kids (boys!) next year, the year i'm supposed to be feeling like the top dog, but am merely the baby of the bunch. How odd it is going to be next year, big kid in the beginning of the day and squirt at the end. I'm mostly excited, but still incredibly nervous. Senior year is already playing out to look like full of excitement!

Things that make my day
-hearing a led zeppelin song on the radio
-hearing any good, under played song on the radio
-hearing a string of good, under played songs on the radio
-being told a ridiculously dumb joke
-making inside jokes
-joking with others about others (it’s all in good fun)
-seeing the forecast predicts rain
-being outside when the rain starts
-getting to run/drive through the puddles from the rain
-being reminded of an old friend
-hearing from a friend
-being around friends
-turning on the TV just in time for a good show (sponge bob)
-having it be a good episode of a good show
-watching re-runs of old[ish] good shows (the cosby show)
-being told I look cute
-being told I look cute from someone who is cute
-telling someone they're cute
-knowing what's going on in class (ready for the test)
-feeling good taking the test
-getting the test back with a good grade
and
laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing

(what a weird word)

If everyone fears of being judged, why do we continue to do so?

just getting it done to make the grade

My blogging skills have fallen in the current along with everyone else’s and are now just crap. No longer is there any depth or internal thought involved with the posts, it’s more like crappy get three blogs done in less than an hour kind of writing that I used to try and be very good to avoid. However I have fallen into the slump that most have and quite frankly, am not pushing my hardest to get out of. It’s just too easy to go with the flow. I used to feel pressure to actually have an intelligent appearance and feel to my blog, but I have now come to realize no one reads it. Why bother? Simply this is just a completion grade, and I need to just get these blogs done to make the grade. Not to mention summer is very nearly here, I’m sure Mr. Ayers has noticed the trend in blogs, better known as slacking off.

I’m not complaining about blogging. I do understand and agree with the fact that the only way to get better at writing is to force yourself to just do it, no matter how much you tell yourself the content you are currently spending your time on is grade A bologna. Mr. Moran made a great deal of that point, hence he graded mostly on word count rather than the actual content of the paper.

Yet, it is undoubtedly true that a piece doesn't have to be 600 words to be good. There are many pieces of writing that are very good and well written that only consist of a couple hundred words, maybe even less. And on the contrary, there can be writing that’s a few thousand words long and still be straight up awful.

There is a quote that I find to be perfect for blogging, “quantity, not quality.”

So with that being said, that’s exactly what I am going to do. I’m going to be rid of the delusion that people, besides Mr. Ayers actually read my blog, and then take down my wall of pride of thinking that every post has to be superior to the previous one. Funny how the more I write about how I’m terrible at blogging, the better of a writer I’m actually becoming. I feel enlightened.

Recently my blogs have been terrible, refer back to earlier posts if you wish to see writing that i actually put time and energy into.

mood changers

Some people claim they just wake up angry, before the day has even really started and before they really have anything to be angry about. Some people just wake up happy, glad that it's a new day, or for no reason in particular. But it's the beginning of the day, what is there to be joyful or upset about? I feel I don't have much emotion to express once I wake up, if anything I would just rather go back to bed. However, once I do acknowledge the day and what there is to bring that affects my mood.
Shouldn't that be what it's like for everyone?
If we were to all wear things that indicated our mood and how often it changed I'm sure that thing would be going off the Richter scale in mood swings. I am really interested now as to how much the average person changes their mood, and how many times they go back to the same mood in a day.

Trying to find some information on mood changes, I came across a short quiz. Give it a go, it is kind of interesting. (I'm a tree)
http://www.sam-e.com/learn/quiz?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=mood+swings&utm_campaign=Nature+Made+sam-E

Of course our mood is affected by our environment and our diet and sleep patterns, but is there people who are just genetically happier or moodier then others?

"You have about as much choice in some aspects of your personality," Hamer and co-author Peter Copeland write in the introductory chapter, "as you do in the shape of your nose or the size of your feet."

This is regarding personality, but mood is just a step away from personality, isn't it? However, looking further into the article, "specific strips of DNA that appear to influence everything from mood to sexual orientation." is what this Hamer guy was experimenting with. It goes into great depth of this, and other things along the same line.
I found the article at http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,139036,00.html

I also found that there is a relatively popular book on the subject called Mood Genes by Samuel H. Barondes. It seems interesting, and I'm contemplating whether or not I should find it, read it, and then blog about it.

I'll keep you posted.

What we really want in the opposite sex

At this age, we all know what guys are looking for in a girl, and I don't feel the need to explain such. However, once all the hormones start settle out and they're out of the high school environment, they start to look for other things in a girl, and since forever, girls have been trying to figure out what that something is that guys like. My conclusion? There isn't any one thing that girls can say or do or look like that will get them any guy they want. I don't think there is a single constant in what kind of girls that guys go for, because no guy is the exact same and no girl is the exact same.

So what is it that we look for in the opposite sex? Is what we find attractive simply by nature? or somewhat corrupted by nurture? Naturally, girls are attracted to guys and guys are attracted to girls, however what is found to be desirable I think is by nurture. Different countries and cultures have different things that they are infatuated by. But what makes it all so different? We all are made up the same stuff after all, physically that is. So maybe most are all attracted to similar things physically, and it's the mental aspect that makes everyone so different.

While seeking an answer to my many questions, I came across this little excerpt on answerbag.com to the question why do we find intelligence so attractive? and some one's response.

"Intelligence is like this special key that opens up many doors to opportunity in life. I had to check out my good friend, dictionary.com, to find other buzz words that had such a magnetic appeal. In doing this, I made a rather interesting discovery.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/intelligence

I was struck by how each definition was constructed the same way. A very meaningful noun followed by a series of attributes in a prepositional phrase. I am not trying to be a grammarian here. My point is, "capacity", "manifestation", "faculty", "knowledge," and "gathering" are highly functional concepts. Someone intelligent, possessing these attributes, is a mover and shaker. Someone who gets things done. Someone who can grasp, absorb, and dynamically respond to life around them.

It is fiercely attractive to admire and respect someone. Those aforementioned terms say so much. What am I looking for in a significant other? The *capacity* to love, understand, and grow. The *manifestation* of love in action - of getting things done - forward moving - fruition. The *faculty* to appreciate classiness, maturity, and empathy. The ability to acquire and apply *knowledge* via education, common sense, and an in-tuned sense of personal growth. And, finally, the *gathering* of all these very special, unique gifts into a collective whole that is fully conscious. Such a person gives off an aura so strong that it almost feels like a physical quality.

The prepositional clauses that follow these lofty words give insight about how intelligence reaches out to touch and interact with the outside world - ideas, truths, people, meaning. People project who they are. True intelligence is so attractive because it radiates a sense of someone that makes him/ her almost glow."


After reading this I am simply convinced that intelligence is what we look for in the opposite sex, and the level of intelligence is what differs from person to person. Of course intelligence can't be the only thing we look for, and just some one's intellect on the concept can't be the absolute solution. So I decided to try and find a scientific fact as to what we find attractive, physically that is. This is a little something that I found.


Blue eyes are likely found to be so attractive because you can clearly see the difference between the iris and the pupil, and when you talk to someone you're attracted to, your eyes dilate a little bit. If you see a person's pupils dilate when you look them in the eye, you subconsciously find it attractive.(www.tmpnetwork.com/general_sciences/Why_Aren_t_Humans_Furry?offset=51)

What I thought was interesting about this,(whether or not it is true, you never know with the Internet) was it mentioned what our subconsciousness found to be magnetic, because our subconscious desires factor just as much as our conscience ones do into physical and emotional infatuation. I'm thinking I would enjoy doing some further research on this.

I think every girl deserves a guy who makes her feel like the prettiest thing on earth :)

Bloggers Block

I don't know how writers manage to write for a living. How do they always find something to write about? True, they're more weekly, or monthly, and not three times a week, but I still don't know how they do it. Finding something to talk about wouldn't be my problem I'd say, but rather what there is to say about the topic I think is where I tend to get stuck. And I'm sure I'm not alone. I don't even know how some of the kids in my class manage to have 15 or so posts a month. I am not putting them down by any means, honestly, I admire their ability to just write and write and write. Maybe it's because I am just lazy. I don't want to put that much thought as to what I want to blog about. I know they aren't supposed to be perfect, or final draft quality by any means, and that is probably what I have the most difficulty with. I like to be able to be somewhat proud of what I put up in my blog, because there is no way I would improve as a writer if I just half-assed my way through everything. But with that comes the time and commitment that I don't know I can necessarily always dedicate to my blog. That is another thing, do these people who have more the needed posts on their blogs always just sit in front of their computer and write? And if that is the case, I don't feel as much as a schmuck, because blogging is not my life, and as awful as it sounds, neither is school.
What is the point in trying to do well in things anyway? We all die eventually, and if you're busting you butt on something that is making you miserable, what is it worth? I know work ethics and being a hard worker are excellent qualities to have, but what's the point? It's like those who are always trying to do their best are really doing it for someone else, and not themselves. But maybe that is what society needs more of today. Doing things rather for others than them self. Which leads me to comment on how much I can't stand people being rude, or rude people and I must say my 6th hour is full of them.
An Example.
So we're in class, working on a worksheet of something, I don't know, and the kid in front of me manages to drop his pencil. His pencil rolls past me and directly under the chair of the girl next to me, (we're in individual desks you see). It was blatantly obvious that the courteous thing to do would've been acknowledge the fact that the pencil is under your desk and the respectful thing to do it for you to get it. But not, she just sits there. Pretending to be so absorbed in what we were doing that she was apparently too busy to take a second and get the pencil for the poor guy in front of me. Now if she was reading a book, she would have has something small to back her up (I've received phone calls, while the phone was in my pocket, and not notice because I was so caught up in a good read), but no, this was a stupid math work sheet that I would think nearly any one would gladly take a break from. So, while the girl next to me is acting to be ignorant to what is going on, the guy in front of me stretches and struggles to reach back so he can get his pencil that was under this girls desk. I found this rude.
Another Example.
Again, in the same class. I am reaching into my backpack to pull out my little pencil bag, and little did I know, it was unzipped, and of course, I pick it up the wrong way. Colored pencils and highlighters scatter between my desk the guy's desk beside me. This guy wasn't even doing anything, not a worksheet, not reading, nothing. Just sitting there. Of course, I already feel slightly embarrassed and like a fool for having my things being all over the place, but the boy couldn't have taken a moment to help my flustered stuff gather my things. Yes, even by his feet. You could've at least kicked them my way, jerk. Needless to say, I was fairly aggravated by this, and till this day think very little of that kid. First Impressions Are Lasting Impressions. That is for certain.

TV families portraying real ones

I wonder what television tries to imitate when attempting to make their show families seem like real ones. What's their motive? Is it to be a dysfunctional yet charming assembly? Or to clone the ideal family personality? Whatever their goal is, it never seems to hit the nail on the head when it comes to what a real family is like. I find this most true with teenage characters. The media is just unable to reassemble real life youth.
I blame Disney and Nickelodeon mostly for this. Their television shows make it seem like life is so easy and fun and that's all there is to it. For example, icarly. She lives and in an incredibly nice apartment in San Diego with her older brother who in reality, doesn't have a real job. Yet, they two seem to stable themselves just fine considering Carly's up to date living quarters and fashionable wardrobe.
Of course, real TV isn't going to show the down sides of life. They're only going to show us what they think makes the world happy and what our little fantasies are, which I think is fine. Considering television is merely a form of entertainment and should be appealing to its audience.
However, when television becomes a reality to some is the problem I think. Some would think it to be common sense that television isn't real, but I fear that not all have gotten that memo, which is what I find irritating. Maybe it isn't the television industry its self that I think is being too fake, it is the people that are consumers of it though. It is not as easy as it seems to be living a flashy life, and I don't think people get that. They absorb all the false information on how life really is and eventually translate it so they think it is real.
That is just one example of television families, today anyway. The trend seems to be the less parenting the better, another show, What I Like About You ( and quite frankly a personal favorite because I adore Amanda Bynes), but again, it is two sisters that live together, without their parents. However, the oldest sister is relatively successful in the business world, and so is their father, so I can see how it is somewhat logic that they are doing okay. They don't have the flashy apartment, or clothes, but they have personality, which is what I think I am drawn to most about it.
However, there is a fine line between realistic television, and reality TV. I find that most reality TV shows are garbage and full of conflict and drama and I would have to say that though some of the emotions may be real, they ruin the idea of bringing the real life world on screen. Why some one would want to sit on their butt and watch busty tan blonds talk smack and back stab each other beats me. I absolutely loathe such an idea to be considered "entertainment".
But what does that say about our world today? Why would our society enjoy watching mean and nasty people at their finest? I don't get it, and I have yet to find some one who does watch those shows and can give me a reasonable explanation for watching shows like The Hills. (Sorry, that's the only example I can think of right now.) What I would think would be concerning about so many people watching these acts happen would start doing such themselves. Is our culture going to become a bunch of heartless, cold, back stabbing, whiny beings?

I am now capable of posting from my phone. Yay :)

Segregation in School

In U.S. history we are currently discussing the civil rights movement, and how so many people fought so long and so hard to all be considered equal and be able to intermix with each other in peace. However, many years later, civil rights passed and all, nothing seems to have really changed. Naturally, everyone segregates themselves, and I find it is especially noticeable in school.

Why do we do it? Why do we continue to just stay separated from each other after so many people suffered trying to make us blend. Is it just the fact that we feel comfortable around people we have things in common with? That naturally, people don't like different? Well if that's the case, how can you blame the white people for not wanting to be with black. I'm not saying the acts that were displayed and the intensity of the whole situation was acceptable, nor the fact that white people even took blacks away from their home, but once we let them know they're accepted, they still go their own way. Everyone does it. For example, if someone who is tall and athletic comes across someone who is petite and doesn't like sports, they instantly repel. Is it just what people have in common that brings them together? Yet, there is students who are part of the same sports team or club or even class that never talk to each other. I'm not saying that I am one who isn't guilty of this, but it is because of that reason that made me stop and wonder, why does our society do this?

Lunch is a prime example of segregation. Nearly instantly after the bell rings to signal people to lunch, everyone breaks up. They go to their little clique, or their boy/girl friend or whoever they feel they're comfortable around. Is it plainly just the fact of being with a group you feel fits comfortably?

I get so frustrated with people who would rather go off in their own little corner and be by them self rather than branch out, meet new people, and try new things. What are they going to do when they go off to college? Or move positions in a job? Forever be lonely? Personally, I wouldn't think that would be worth it. True, I am one who loves trying new things and isn't afraid of different, so my perception may be askew to those who aren't. I understand being shy, and lacking confidence, but how is one going to over come those things when they let the fear of new consume them? Of course, I cannot judge, that isn't fair. But I do wish people would branch out more and be accepting of different things.

Starving for Attention

Oh the things people will do just to get attention, and what for? So they can have a glimpse of having everyone focused on them? But why? So they think they are accepted? Because? Are we insecure?

I don't understand attention seekers, and honestly, I think the only thing that would make a person become one is because they're insecure. True everyone has their insecurities, but I don't understand why some one would feel the need to express them, to try and fix them. Seriously, we all need to accept that everyone is insecure about something and knowing that should give us a self esteem boost. I'm just saying.

What Makes People Comfortable and Uncomfortable

Different things affect different people's comfort levels. That is a given. But what is it about certain things that just makes things feel awkward, and makes them feel right? I don't know, that is what I am trying to figure out.
What makes you uncomfortable?

com⋅fort
7. a cause or matter of relief or satisfaction
awk⋅ward
7.embarrassing or inconvenient; caused by lack of social grace

Funny how both of the definitions I am referring to are number 7 on each list...

However I still cannot come to some sort of root cause that brings awkwardness. Discomfort I would say intertwines with different. When you're doing something or in a situation you're unfamiliar with, things aren't the most relaxing. Yet, is it possible to have things be familiar and part of routine be uncomfortable? Like same 'ole same 'ole, is that ever thought to be awkward?
I can't fathom a situation or thing when it would be. If it is something you know, and is a part of you, it should go by with ease, because you are already aware of what is required and expected of it.

Does comfort affect stress or does stress affect comfort? Which comes first? If things are uncomfortable, that would raise a deal of stress, and if things are stressful, that would make things lack in comfort. But what about anxiety? Is that a part of the mixture?

Interesting on how one little thing can stir up so many emotions.

Personally, I am most comfortable and relaxed when I know what I am doing. But then again, who isn't? That is what I am trying to figure out.

Things being out of the norm, that is what causes discomfort. For example, one growing up in the safe and serene environment of the suburbs would feel positively oafish being thrown into a down town Chicago scene. And vice versa? Yet, maybe if you've had to adjust multiple times in various surroundings, new things don't make you feel as uncomfortable. So then what would?

Ah I have just thought of a familiar situation that would lead to discomfort, and that would be an unpleasant memory triggered from such. This is a rather extreme example, but say if you grew up in a household that abused alcohol, chances are it is possible you feel very uncomfortable about being around the substance, knowing of the side you saw of it as a child. If the initial situations its self was uncomfortable, then encountering it later will almost always be so. That is what I would think.

However, there is always exceptions to everything, and I would say if an initially awkward occasions continued to reoccur, it would eventually become less awkward and before you know it, rather comfortable. Like going out on your own, you would get the hang of it, and find that you're rather enjoying yourself.

I think you could say that I have come to somewhat of brief idea of which makes people comfortable or uncomfortable, but I don't think there is much depth, its just some ideas I have accumulated I suppose you could say.....

break up songs

I've decided that it would be interesting to come up with a list containing some of the best of the best, break up songs that is. The way I see it, is with having about a year left of high school, a lot of relationships are going to be breaking it off, because we all know no one wants the added stress of a relationship on top of everything else. Understandable, but not necessarily always easy to cope with. With that said, I've decided to accumulate a list of breakup songs that (veered more towards a female audience) well, will make you feel better while singing along at the top of your lungs in your car. Trust me, it helps.
(Note: not all of these are the official video, some don't have one, nor could I find a legitimate video at all for others.)

• "Nothing Better" by Postal Service





• "Attack" by 30 Seconds to Mars





• "Goodnight Goodnight" by Hot Hot Heat

• "White Horse" by Taylor Swift

• "Crying" by Aerosmith
(all of the embedding options are disabled, you can look it up yourself)


• "Pictures of You" by The Cure





• "So I Thought" by Flyleaf

However the one that I feel has the best lyrics to shout is "Over You" by Christ Daughtry. However I am incredibly irritated about the fact that all the official videos have been disabled by request......

So this isn't the largest list of break up songs, but it gives you the idea. I think the best breakup songs are the ones that talk about moving on and how their life is better without the other person who they before thought they couldn't live without.

If i think of more videos to add to the post, I will.

An Evaluation of Myself....

I have come to the conclusion that I am by far, the worst story teller ever. In my mind, I always seem to have something to share that's humorous and witty, or interesting and entertaining, and maybe what I have to say is, but my delivery is never so, and I think I've come to a number of reasons as to why I simply cannot share an interesting story, or make my presentation of it worth my audience's time. Here's the thing, for whatever reason, I always feel obligated to go into intricate detail when sharing something. I have to establish the setting, introduce the characters and explain why or what made me bring the story up, like what triggered me to think of that little excerpt in my life. By that time I recognize the fact that my story is completely pointless, and then I instantly want the attention off of me, so I quickly try to finish up the story and attempt to get to the point, or how it even relates to the previously discussed topic, and I end up stumbling over my words and leaving parts out resulting in further explanation and just more attention drawn to me and my foolish terrible story telling self.

This is why I have responsibly made the decision to be a listener rather than a talker. There is a quote stating something along the lines of the reason we have two ears and one mouth is because we’re supposed to listen twice as much as we speak. There you have it, I’ll just be listening enough for the rest of us.

randomly being unproductive

So I randomly found this on a random person's blog so I decided to randomly do it my self.
It makes me think of middle school chain letters from myspace.

The rules are:
1. Fill it out
2. Change one question with one of your own
3. Add an additional question
4. Tag 3 other people to do the same


1. What are your current obsessions?Prep for senior year, thinking about college, wanting it to be summer.


2. Which item from your closet are you wearing most often? My favorite blue denim jeans from express


3. Last thing you bought for yourself? Makeup



4. What's your favorite thing about the holidays? family, no school

5. Favorite thing to do on the weekend? relax

6. What is one item you could not live without? my phone and car (I need both)

7. Vacation spots you must visit before you die? all the major European countries, and Australia

8. Three things to do before you die: go sky diving, meet someone famous, grow a garden

9. What are you reading right now? I'm about to start Breaking Dawn....

10. What is the last movie you saw and enjoyed? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

11. What’s your guilty pleasure? dark chocolate

12. What’s your favorite smell? rain, fresh air

13. Best thing you ate or drank lately? my mom made me an amazing omelet this morning :)

14. Favorite Quote? "To get what you have never had, you must do what you've never done."

15. Describe one of your happiest moments. anytime that involved laughter

16. Whats one thing you can't go a day with out doing? talking

17. What do you have an addiction to? fashion magazines and underground music

18. Whats your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving -my grandma makes a pumpkin pie, just for me :)
19. How many pairs of shoes (not just running) do you have?? I'm not about to go count, a lot.

20. What can almost always make your day? Laughing.

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”

That's a quote I found. However I don't think they're sad words, I think they're words that prevent growth. They're words that makes one continuously dwell on the past and disrupt one from moving on. It is very nearly a pathetic excuse.
It's like one cannot come up with a better reason for why something is as it is, so they mope around all day, feeling sorry for them self and murmuring "if only" over and over again. It is just that which is preventing them from moving on, from bettering the situation, they just think how things could be rather than how they are. They come up with some notion that wishing and hoping that things are different will change their situation but indeed is does not. There is only one statement I have to make about these people. GET OVER IT. Quite frankly I think everyone is capable of moving on. There is no reason for them to sit around, feeling sorry for them self and thinking poor me, if only....
I am so irritated with whoever came up with this quote. They think they're being deep, and portraying some sort of enlightening meaning, but they are doing just the opposite. They aren't helping anyone, they're just giving another excuse for someone not to try harder, or give them a reason as to why they aren't doing anything with their life. If we all sat around thinking if only, nothing productive would ever become of us and society would slow down from the energetic, successful and well oiled machine it is today and become nothing more than the sludge that builds up in the engine of a car. And what for? Because simply everyone has made the decision to not move forward and to merely believe they are incapable of doing anything.
I think a much better saying to go by would be MOVE ON. Seriously, stuff happens in every one's life everyday, and singling yourself out, thinking that for whatever reason you have it the worst is pathetic. NO ONE has the excuse to use the phrase if only. Those two words are worthless when put together, and no one should abide by them. I do not feel sorry for anyone who feels sorry for them self; no one should.
So, if you are one who finds yourself guilty of such an act, I suggest you fix it. Living life will be a lot more stimulating and worth your while if you make better of the situation.
"When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade."

Normally I tend to put a lot of thought into my blogs and I try analyze my thoughts and thinking so my posts usually have some depth to them, but at the moment I'm not feeling the usual thinking and somewhat serious theme that I normally abide by. So I'm in search of a lighter topic.

I have seemed to misplace my ipod, which generally brings about inspiration, so I am lost.

Though I do have some rather exciting (to me) news to share. While doing some research on a band that I can't seem to get enough of (thanks to the same cousin) I stumbled across a website that had an excerpt about four in the morning....

"It's now on the track, "Still Life With Bottle Rockets". "...everything seems better when everyone's asleep..". That's true here at 4 am. This is the time things quiet down -- the loud drunks on the corner have teetered home and traffic is almost nonexistent. I treasure this time of silence because I sure don't have it during the day. I've had to make myself believe the constant traffic sounds are waves when I'm trying to get to sleep. "

Visit http://www.brendastardom.com/arch.asp?ArchID=817 to read the whole thing if you wish.

It is overwhelming on how much you can find on the Internet, while just trying to look up the lyrics of a song and then coming across something such as this. Obviously I knew I wasn't the only one who found something special about 4 in the morning, because my whole thought process was sparked by hearing it from songs, but it still put me in the slightest amount of shock and awe. I found it a pleasant experience to read a bit from someone who had something to say about the same topic as me. Though the thoughts aren't relevant to each other, I still think of the find as an exciting one. And for the record, she [brenda stardom] mentions she's confused as to where they are from, and I believe the answer is Ohio.

I wonder just how much people do have in common, just by looking on the Internet, what all could one discover? We had to do an activity in one of my classes regarding things that people have in common (favorite food, movie, music etc...) and the goal was to find ten people that you had something in common with. Honestly, I was a bit discouraged when the time was up and to return our seats that I only managed to find 4 others who had a little box with the same answer as mine. (obviously you have to know the activity to truly understand, because evidently I am no good at explaining it) True, I love being an individual and being interested in different things, but I don't want to be an outcast! I suppose in the end though, as long as my friends and family still love me, no matter what I do or don't have in common with them, it doesn't matter, but still....

of contradicting one's self

I always catch my brain contradicting it's self. On many topics for that matter. Whether it's a simple statement like wrestling is the toughest sport, or something a little more in depth like abortion is bad. But doesn't everyone contradict them self? It seems rather impossible to stick to only one point of view I think, to not even try the least bit to decipher from another angle. But in doing so, its difficult to make a decision. But that's a common problem, many weigh the pros and con's of situations or major adjustments.

I for one find it's nearly impossible to make decision, even its a simple, like choosing a movie to watch, which is certainly not a life or death situation, so what does it matter? I think of as a disability, my grandmother views it as a gift. See, contradicting myself on what contradicting even is.

It's a weakness I think. I remember watching movies when I was little (not that I don't watch movies anymore) and whenever the "bad guy" would get punished in the end, I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him, even if he was positively awful to the "good guy". Now I don't think I'm like that much any more, maybe because I know better than then that it's just a movie, and not really real. Maybe it contributes to mercy, which made me just think of a Knight's Tale(poor Heath) and a quote "He shows mercy" which was quickly responded to by "He shows weakness" Maybe its more mercy that I have rather than just contradicting myself.

But no, it has to be contradicting because it's siding with all sides. Which is why it's rather difficult for me to make a strong argument, because I can't pick a side. OR maybe it gives me the ability to make a stronger argument, because I know what the opposing side will try to use to defend their view, and I'll just be able to shoot it down that much easier.

Maybe I'll just stick to things that don't force me to make an argument, that way I'll never have to really test out this theory. Though maybe given a topic to defend would be something that I could do, because then I would already know which side I was on, and simply would just have to state evidence to back it up. I don't know, maybe I'll never ever ever have to find out.

OR maybe there is a profession specifically needing one who specializes in contradicting, I'm sure I'd be good at it.

Coincidences

"Coincidences, in general, are great stumbling blocks in the way of that class of thinkers who have been educated to know nothing of the theory of probabilities- that theory to which the most glorious objects of human research are indebted for the most glorious of illustration." -Edgar Allan Poe

I had to read this quote a few times, it didn't exactly click right away. But once I did make an understanding of it, I realized that I love Poe's perspective and ways of thinking even more. Poe seems to question everything, and finds a way to make the surest thing we know, questionable. He takes the example of coincidences to prove a way of how what we thought we know, can be wrong. It then leads one to think, what are coincidences exactly? How does one define a coincidence?

Coincidence

1.a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance
2. the condition or fact of coinciding.
3. an instance of this.

But it's a subject to ponder I think. What is a coincidence? Where does one draw the line between coincidence and fate? Does either even exist? What Poe thinks is that "smart people" just use it as an excuse because they have no better reason to explain the outcome of something.

I don't think there is such a thing as a "coincidence". I think everything happens for a reason and each event that occurs has it's own sole purpose. Mere chance was mentioned in one of the dictionary definitions, but how can something happen simply by mere chance? Strangely enough, I can't fathom mere chance, but for a purpose makes sense to me, even if the purpose isn't clear at the time, it always reveals its self eventually, doesn't it?

I remember watching a movie that was almost all about fate and whether or not it exists, and a quote one of the characters said "if a guy gets hit by a bus I think it was because he wasn't looking, not because of some master plan" and of course, by the end of the movie, this character does believe in fate after all, but that's just Hollywood. The movie is Fools Rush In, just in case you were curious.

Religious views would interact with this subject too. Some would argue that there is a higher power that is just in complete control of everything, and being a Christian, I agree with that. But even if someone didn't believe in a higher power, how do they define a coincidence? Do they really believe that some things just happen for reason? Why would they even happen then?

Maybe the purpose is to learn with mostly all occurrences, the best way to learn is by experience.

Oh coincidences, they leave me with yet another blog that has no conclusion.

sappy love songs

Sappy love songs, they’re something that I know, girls especially like to get wrapped in and think of “awwh how sweet.” Quite frankly, I’m not much impressed with what all today’s artists have to say about “being in love”. First of all, we have young singers, like 17 years old young singing about love. I don’t think someone can fall hopelessly and truly in love when they’re 17 years old. Except for Bella that is, but that’s just because she has Edward…. well and Jake too -completely different situation. And second, saying "I want to make love right now" isn't any better than saying "lets get it on", which unsurprisingly, is something one would hear in a song today. Unoriginal lyrics that lack creativity annoy me. On the other hand though, it could be argued that they're just being honest I guess, but being a music is an art, it deserves some genuine thought and attention. Simple beats and dumb lyrics would not classify as art to me.

I understand that artists want to use the word love to represent a passionate emotion, but I think it takes a true artist to show just how much they care for someone, and describe so without using the “L word.”

However this is the way I see it. The 60’s and 70’s was all about free love, that was their era, and we need to establish our own. So songs that were produced then are more than acceptable to say I love you I love you I love you because they were there first, it’s like today’s pop music is just a copy cat of what the musicians back then felt. Now I know emotions and feelings don’t necessarily change through time, so I would not say different emotions would be what I am looking for, no, just a creative way to say “I love you” (or her or him) without literally doing so. Would that be difficult? I couldn’t tell you, I’m no musician.

It must be difficult though, to generate something fresh and original, it seems like there's so much out there already that it would be nearly impossible not to sound like someone else. With that said, I do give musicians credit for at least trying. Yet I continue to remain unimpressed with the majority of music that is considered "good" today. But I am my own critique, and I feel I have the right to be as harsh and as particular as I please, after all, I'm not the one performing.

of Regret

We all makes mistakes. I would say that feeling regret after making the mistake is a common emotion of all human beings. With some mistakes, it is easy enough just to acknowledge it, know to not do it again, and then move on. But then there are some that burn a hole in your skull and constantly irritate, and soon alter one's perception and thinking, because they have the little voice of regret that won't go away. That makes their stomach churn just to bring up the very thought of their mistake, that makes them want to find someway to make themselves feel better by trying to make it up in some way, or to stoop down to other's level to make their mistake not seem as treacherous.

I had a friend tell me that I regret too much, but as I see it, wouldn't that simply just show that I care?

I think people's personalities reflect whether or not they have many regrets in their life. Sometimes it's like they're walking on egg shells and just terrified of making a mistake. Other times they just walk around with out a care, already making the exception that they're an "awful" person and it's not worth trying to change because that is what they are. However, most try to play it off as they never regret, that they simply just take it as a learning experience, I'm sure, just as everyone else would, like to think that is true. Yet I find that ridiculous, the only reason someone would not claim feeling regret is because they regret the fact that they can even feel such an emotion. They want to think they are above it, but emphasizing how much they are blatantly exposes them. No one is fooled here. Those who take their mistakes lightly lack in care for the situation, they honestly aren't much better then the rest of us. They can't walk around with their head held high thinking I am above regret. >> No, you're not. They are insecure impostors who have to put on a front because they really do regret things in life.

Regret isn't a crippling emotion. It is an acknowledgment of mistakes, and evaluation to better one's self, a representation of utter concern. Not a dark and ugly feeling that someone can pose as an excuse for not doing, or doing something. It should be used as a learning tool, and nothing else.

About Blogging

Initially, I hated this whole blogging thing with a passion. I didn't like the idea of just narrowing down my thoughts to three topics and how everyone and anyone could read what I had to say. I thought it was inconvenient that the only way I could complete the blogging assignments was to have a computer and Internet access and even then, I would be stuck on what to write about and I stressed on trying to make all my posts fantastic because I knew there was the slight chance that someone could easily read my blog and the (heaven forbid) judge me because of how my blogging skills were. So I would procrastinate, and being on the world wide web, it was fairly easy to waste time, and before I would notice, it would be six o'clock at night and I would have to get ready for practice, leaving and accomplishing little to nothing.

Just writing this post about blogging is causing a kink in my writing flow, what is there to say about blogging?

However, now, somewhat getting in to the groove of this whole blogging thing, I can understand what Mr. Ayers is drawn to, by using them in the classroom and their benefits. Most language arts teachers use notebooks to get their students to write weekly, but in doing notebooks, it lacks interaction of other audiences in the writing. True, not every one's blogs are read religiously, but I think it definitely helps those who do receive comments on their posts. In a way, it's fun to see what others have to say about their peers' work, especially having feed back from readers of your own age. Maybe some what motivating as well, to continue to write in hope of having a comment or some sort of response from another student.

Being somewhat environmental conscience, another thing I like about blogging is the fact that we don't use up nearly as much paper. It is a small perk, yes, but not a skipped over one.

Blogging isn't by any means a formal source of literature, and sometimes I find that some one annoying, I'll find some blogs are more comparable to a myspace page rather than a writing note book, but it is interesting seeing what topics are decided out there and what some people's points of views are. That is something I find amusing about blogs, is getting to read about other's opinions, but not necessarily know who the author is, not knowing whose work you are reading makes a blog more enjoyable I would think, but I wouldn't say it's a bad thing to know who the author, especially if the author wants be known by using their real name or posting a picture of themselves on their profile.

It is also fun to play with fonts and colors and sizes, which is something you can't do in a reading notebook so much, and it's always neat- no messy handwriting to try and translate. I would say designing the profile page is also something many find being a perk in blogging, they can reflect their personality and give themselves some sort of an identity by choosing how their blog looks.

I suppose you could say blogging has grown on me. I've become accustomed to it, and have discovered a way to work it in my schedule, (though I don't write nearly as much as I should :/)When I first was introduced to blogging, I was trying to write for an audience that I didn't necessarily have and for a purpose that wasn't clear and not knowing who I was writing for made the blogging experience painful. However, once I decided to simply blog for myself and to get it done in a timely manner, the idea of blogging didn't seem so intimidating. So I would label that as some sort of advice to those who are blogging, because once you decide who you are writing for and why, it makes things on you, as an author, much easier. So I suppose you could say that yes, I am one for blogging, it was just an adjustment and something to get used to, but can be rather amusing and fun, and help me pass AP lang, what a concept.

one of those days

So I am directly involving my audience in this post, which is a rare occurrence in this blog, but have you ever had one of those days that you're simply reminded of all the awful things you've done and mean things you've said, especially towards a loved one or just one you know that didn't deserve to be treated badly, but for whatever reason at the time, whether it be anger, frustration or exhaustion, you did treat them harshly, despite the fact whether or not they deserved it. That may sound redundant, but I'm simply trying to organize my thoughts in a manner in which they can be understood. I am having one of those days, and it all started when I got out of my car this morning and saw a brother and a sister who showed up in the same vehicle, not utter a word to each other and immediately split, not acknowledging each other the slightest bit. This made my a bit sad to see this, I mean I know not all siblings get along as well as my brothers and I do, but I can't fathom not walking in the school together, if we showed up in the same car that is. And seeing this lack of interaction between the two siblings made me think if I've ever been so mad at one of my brothers that I simply wouldn't walk with them or something, and at first, I thought I couldn't, but then, like I said, all the mean and awful things I've said or done to my brothers hit me significantly, like a dramatic blow, causing an ache to form in the pit of my stomach, and immediately wish I could take all the terrible things back.

Of course I know my brothers still love me and forgive me, but I've found it relatively difficult to get the heart twisting flash backs to settle. One that continues to linger is with my closest (in age) brother, when we were younger, I want to say elementary school, and I don't remember what the scenario was, but I was extremely upset with him. He must've done something that made me angry with him, because he was asking me for forgiveness, and I wish I could remember why, but I was so infuriated at the time and selfish that I told him I couldn't. He then started to cry, because his older sister wouldn't forgive him for his mistake. How dreadful of a feeling that must be?! To know you've done something wrong and desperately want to make things better and then be informed you can't, and to add being at a young age at this time.

That memory is one that I can only recall hurting my brother in such a way, and I don't remember why. Today my brother keeps to himself and doesn't share much nor does he show much emotion, and I know most guys are just like that, but I can't help to think that its partly because of the verbal abuse he received from his older, selfish and unforgiving sister. Now of course, I'm sure we worked things out because I remember my mother stepping in to the dispute and most likely coming to a conclusion which did lead to me accepting his apology, but it's the image of him breaking down in absolute hurt because of me that I can't seem to cope with.

However, as much as I wish I could, I can't go back and change things. And dwelling on the past isn't going to help me either, but I do hope that I can prevent myself from feeling this same sort of anguish by not repeating my history and learn from my mistakes.

simplicity

sim⋅ple
–adjective
1.easy to understand, deal with, use, etc.
2.not elaborate or artificial; plain
3.not ornate or luxurious; unadorned
4.unaffected; unassuming; modest
5.not complicated
6.occurring or considered alone; mere; bare: the simple truth; a simple fact.
7.free of deceit or guile; sincere; unconditional: a frank, simple answer.
8.common or ordinary

What is it about Americans and things being simple? It seems every new thing must consist of the word easy in the description otherwise it is not worth attempting. One thing I can't decipher, is when does easy translate in to lazy? That is where I would have to say America has gone wrong. We, as beings, no longer can define the difference between something being simple or just plain lazy. I know the stereotype for Americans is fat and lazy, and quite frankly, I am not proud of it. Now there are many Americans out there who are just the opposite of the stereotype, but unfortunately, do not stand out enough to change the charming image the world has of Americans.

Yet, simple can also contemplate helpful, or useful. That was the initial goal of simplicity wasn't it? To benefit, to be more time efficient, or less straining? It just seems to play out that we have taken the whole simple idea a couple steps too far, leading to what we are currently witnessing in society. So is it possible to go back a step or two? To just make things easier for us, but in doing so, not make us lazy? I don't think it is, once something, like today's technology, starts moving forward as rapidly as it has, there is little to slow its path down. I would like to think it is a nice thought though. Or is it possible that simplicity will turn on us? And before we know things become so simple that it suddenly becomes complicated? It would be ironic, though I can't say as to how that would work out exactly. Compelling to ponder though.

How is it that things today could get any more simple? Transportation wise we have cars and planes, how does that become any more convenient? The ability to teleport? Highly doubt that is obtainable. It seems just about everything is automatic, garage doors, remotes, pretty soon we'll have beds that will make themselves at the push of a button. So what sort of sense of doing things by hand of for ourselves will there be? Of course, there will always be responsibilities, and things that make people stress and worry, no matter how far technology gets us, we cannot avoid things like that.

I don't mind things being simple, I never said I didn't, because I for one sure do not like to deal with the hassle of complicated things. However, I do think there will be a point in time that nothing will be able to become any easier, and that there won't be anything for us to label as complicated, or difficult. Those words will become extinct, or the meaning will certainly alter according to the times, because they definitely won't mean the same as they used to.

being recognized as part of a team rather then an individual

I think there are two ways that one can be recognized, as an individual and as part of a team. Maybe team is making the term be narrowed down to sports, so perhaps as a group or part of a crew would be more appropriate, nevertheless, it gets the same idea across. Most celebrities, like actors, actresses, politicians, and some musicians are identified by individual. They want their name to be the only name they're associated with. Which I assume is acceptable considering their profession. Yet there are ones considered celebrities that are identified in a group, like a band or a professional sports team, which also is acceptable considering their profession.

Personally, I prefer to be recognized as part of a team. I don't like the spotlight on me alone, I like being part of something more then just myself. There's just something that comes off admirable I think to be known because of something one is a part of, to be prominent not as an individual but as a team. Even to be recognized because of a name, I like walking down the halls with my brothers and have people identify us because of each other. However, I am an athlete, and have a relatively large family, so maybe the idea of a team doesn't sound as appealing to most. Naturally, I think since I haven't really been known as an individual I grew a fondness of being part of a team. It's all that I've really known, so I don't wish to change it. However I've never been one who wanted to stick out, even if it was because of an accomplishment, not to be alone in the recognition anyway. Can't say I quite understand why exactly though.

Knowing this about myself, it sparks my curiosity as to how do others wish to be recognized? If one is part of a big and successful, isn't it enough for one know that for them self and not need their name in the paper or anything.

I haven't precisely figured where I'm going with this, it's simply an evaluation that I had made during a conversation with my father. I can't say I remember what really brought it up initially, but it lead to me making the statement that I would rather be recognized as part of a brilliant team then a brilliant person, because only brilliant people make a brilliant team.

In spite of being identified as group, it leads to stereotypes, which then change into judgments rather then recognitions. Which is certainly not something that I am appreciative of. In such a case, I base my opinion of one because of an individual, not because of their group, I feel it isn't fair to assume before knowledge. And I'm afraid that my being recognized as a team statement would make one infer to judge and stereotype, which aren't my intentions at all.

quite frankly, I don't mind that Eve ate the apple because I love fashion

Coming from a religious view point, it is because Eve ate the forbidden fruit that we even wear clothes today. (Now I'm not interested in those who wish to argue that fact at this point in time so please don't comment if its regarding religious views. )

However I love clothes and shoes and just fashion in general, I'm not a guru by any means, but I find it a lot of fun, and I wouldn't say I'm always for "the next big thing" either, but doing a little research on trends and such is somewhat of a hobby of mine, yet I don't necessarily reflect that I actually do know whats considered fashionable by the way I dress. I mean seriously, it's Iowa. I would be a minority for trying to keep up with high fashion and the fact is I think dressing casual is easy and acceptable, so why not just stick with it? Yet there is always those times that dressing up is required and I feel, since it isn't part of my daily routine, it's fun. To dress up I mean.

It's like stepping into a small fantasy world of mine going downtown in big cities to shop. The whole experience just feels glamorous, which is ironic considering big cities have higher rates of crime and pollution, but not living in a big city, I only get to experience the positive things and keep my view on downtown the same. Just last year, my mother, my grandmother and I, all went to downtown Chicago to go some Christmas shopping along the Magnificent Mile. I loved being in the giant shopping centers and being around the expensive apparel, I didn't mind the congested stores and streets so much, it was all just a part of my beloved delusion. And once the sun started to set all of the lights of the city would emerge, including Christmas lights because of the time of year, and on top of it all, pretty little snowflakes began to fall, transforming my surroundings into quite a charming scene.

Yet the fashion world is a cruel and somewhat cold-blooded one. I find it comparable to the "gilded age"- it comes off flashy and glamorous, but that is merely the closest part to the surface, beneath it can be dark and relatively brutal. I am not one who has witnessed such a level personally, but more and more of the harsh secrets are being revealed to the public. Really, one only needs to watch The Devil Wears Prada to see how such a lifestyle can be. Which makes one step back and wonder why would such a lifestyle be so appealing. But then the glamour and the paramount image flash and it all clicks. There are simply events and sacrifices that one goes through to obtain their dream. I'm sure there are things considered just as contradicting to morality as the ones we hear about with the fashion world, they just have yet to be exposed.

However, inhumane or not, I do love fashion and how it provides an outlet for expressing one's self freely and ironically enough to do the opposite and make a line of clones rather than clothes. Fashion is a part of every culture in every part of the world and is consistently traveling and changing and repeating, making it difficult to avoid and impossible to resist. Something like candy.

Wendy's

I love a good commercial. And by good commercial I mean one that makes me laugh. Something that is clever and witty definitely achieves my approval, even one with a hidden or double meaning makes any commercial enjoyable which leads me to the commercials for one specific fast food restaurant that steadily express a hint of stereotypes and somewhat racism towards Asians. It's with Wendy's whole "three-conomy" notion, with the three workers enjoying their lunch break. I've only seen three commercials having to due with this, and they definitely could be taken offensively to the Asian-American race. True, the commercials are witty and funny, but partly because of their subtle racism and stereotypical characteristics of the ad. Which in a sense is nearly repulsive, that America would publicly display such towards a specific race. Now I know that it has been done in the past, during World War II for example, and they were hardly subtle then, but this is the year 2009. I was under the assumption that America was past such behavior. What is ironic about the commercial though is they would have to hire an Asian to play the part. Willingly would one go against their own like that?



To be honest, I didn't even notice the subtle humor of these ads at first, it did have to play a few times before I really caught on, which indefinitely displays my way to be naive, but on the other hand I can't say that I didn't laugh when I saw them, and that I don't continue to laugh when they do come up. I just find it minor appalling that the Wendy's industry could get away with that. Yet, I could be blowing this out of proportion. Maybe Asians have no problem with this ad and they too, find it funny. Which would explain why they could easily hire an Asian actor to play the part. Or perhaps it wasn't intended to be the Asian originally and it all just came together. Possible, but not necessarily probable.



However, the Asian dresses to play the part, fitting the stereotype of which given to them. A dorky haircut is even included with his somewhat nerdier outfit and I bet that "high waters" are even part of the whole ensemble, though his pants aren't shown in the commercials.



On the other hand, why do we find racism humorous? I hear the jokes and the comments made all the time, especially by people my age and those of my grandparents' generation, and people simply laugh, like it was a good clean joke. But it's not, it's discriminating against a certain group people just because of how they look. We have all been taught its wrong yet people continue to participate in such acts. I wonder how the minorities of America take the idea of people laughing and making fun of them. I mean I hear blond jokes all the time, but I find that I can laugh at them because I know that I'm not that dumb, but Asians, African Americans, Mexicans- they know their race; they can't exactly hide it or deny it. So how does one feel about something they can't control? I guess it could be the same as me knowing I'm blond but not dumb. Maybe they know what they look like, but don't act such that the stereotypes gives them.

I don't know how all the politics and everything work out in such situations, so I'm not going to boycott Wendy's just because they make fun of Asians, but it undoubtedly makes me wonder about just how far have we come since World War II racism.

I would love to show these commercials to you but I haven't had any luck finding them on youtube.

Stress Stimulating Situations

If there is one situation that I would say stimulates an abundant amount of stress, it would be busy and large parking lots. Like Sam's Club on a Saturday afternoon. There is people with enormous grocery carts- few at a time, inpatient pedestrians, inattentive drivers; the entire lot is a generator of chaos. It is a place of activity that is ripe for potential accidents. It is a position of hazard. Yet, it is something that most, Americans that I know any way, find themselves a part of. They too, are contributors to the derangement of the parking lot. Us, vulnerable little beings, find our way into these times of utter peril. But what for? In order to get enough food for the evening party? Of the class fundraiser? The super bowl? Whatever have you, the risk is worth it apparently, considering the circumstances.

Why do we put ourselves in stressful situations? Unless you're one who considers them self able to handle the madness, then I would assume it wouldn't make much of a difference whether it would be classified as a stressful situation or not. Yet, most people don't come off as ones to handle the stress of certain situations. They become rude, inconsiderate, and care about only what they need to do, those are ones that I think plant the little seed of chaos. And it spreads faster than any wild fire or contagious disease known to man. It is possible to be in a busy place, to be efficient, and get things done in a timely manner without causing stress. I think it is a choice that one has to make. (This kind of falls back on the whole being in control of emotions idea.)

True, stressful situations aren't necessarily always avoidable, nor containable. Those are the times that we need to find ourselves in the utter most control of our reactions and not just go off of instinct. The initial instinct of one would lead to anxiety, and anxiety is a state that is the exact opposite of being relaxed.

Yet, how and why is it so difficult for us to just stay calm in a basket case of a place? How do we not acknowledge that getting upset because of a situation is not going to make it better? It seem like common sense doesn't it? The idea of making a situation better is to first make one's self better first. I don't think its possible to generate peace in a stressful situation when one isn't at peace them self. It comes off as being hypocritical. Which would in fact just lead to more frustration and distortion.

(Ironically enough I'm listening to "everything will be alright" by the killers while I'm writing this. And yes, my ipod is on shuffle, a sheer act of fate I would have to say. )

Now, as I mentioned before, one can't avoid stressful situations, they might even cause themselves some stress just trying to avoid it. But I don't think avoiding stress to the key to handling it. I think it's the perspective one needs in order to decide for them self that they don't need to be getting upset. If we all can just come to conclusion that getting frustrated about something isn't going to make it any better, maybe stressful situations would lessen, or become less of a stressful situation. Yet, as everything is, it is easier said then done.

the hardest thing

The hardest thing is holding back tears when you desperately want to release them. Its the idea that you have to remain strong, that you have to refuse to show any sign of weakness. Its a painful thing, emotionally and physically. Emotionally and physically because crying is the intense blow and the passionate attack of an overwhelming emotion. Its the force of which that has the ability to knock one off their feet, to make one drop to their knees in a state of utter debilitation. Its almost an asthmatic sensation; sending the body all the clear signs of something that is wrong. It is a physical state that is equivalent of being ill. The almost unbearable choking and the closing of ones throat, like it suddenly has become very dry and swollen and even the tiniest breath is an excruciating contraction that pierces and makes even the toughest nerves defenseless against the pain. It seems to be easier to just hold ones breath, and in doing so one suddenly becomes light headed and unable to feel the pain because of the lack of oxygen getting to ones brain and with that last pleasant and painless thought one reaches a state of unconsciousness. Which immediately becomes reasonable solution, yet, limited. Limited because one cannot simply pass out instead of crying. Limited because that is avoiding the problem rather then facing it. Limited because quite frankly, it is not healthy. So one results to other things. Things that makes one feel numb, that dulls the pain to the point of bearable which happen to be just as unhealthy and avoiding. Yet nothing feels comforting, nothing is found to be capable of be ridding the deploring feelings. Its an infection that slowly and fiercely dissipates through out ones system, it consumes one in the absolute misery and one finds them self unable to function, unable to exist in a blithe state. Not only have the heart strings been pulled, but they've been tugged, yanked, jerked aggressively and abused to the point of distortion. They are snapped and frayed, just as a string of twine would be; impossible to repair back to perfection. One can still try to fight the action of crying its self, but the tears, the tears are able to creep past the strength, to slip by and steadily fall. Holding back is no longer obtainable and one gives in, letting them self be devoured by the hurt, the hurt that had been bottled up so tightly that it can only rush out, uncontrollable and truculent, making ones body heave violent hiccups, in attempt to liberate all the repulsive feelings in a rapid manner. The feeling is one of pure exhaustion once it is all over, it makes one feel anemic and pray that the circuit doesn't reoccur, that it won't be triggered by any characteristic to start the cycle over again.

Crying is the hardest thing to cope with. Though it certainly can display more rather then sheer anguish. Such as feeling out right frustration or genuine happiness generates tears. However, no version of crying is comparable to the one of feeling in utter peril.

4:00 AM

What a time, four 0'clock in the morning. It's too late to be going to bed and too early to wake up. There must be something some what magical about such a time. If there is an average time a day that the majority of people are asleep at, I would have to say it would be 4 AM. But there is something special about this time of day. Like the things that happen at the time. I don't like to think of the bad things, I like to think of it as a time that nothing terrible happens. Now three in the morning, well that is a different situation, but I'm not getting into that now.I think what made me wonder so intently on such a time of day was the number of times I heard a song lyric consist of it.

Now why is it the musicians feel it is significant enough to put in the time of the morning, and specifically make it at four. I know that I personally am rarely up at that time of the day. What are they doing up at that time of day anyways? Now I know there is the exceptions of those who work odd hours and are up for their job, but for this purpose I am excluding those who qualify for such. No hard feelings I hope.

I don't exactly know what kind of conclusion I'm hoping to come up with in this post, it's mostly just a curiosity stricken thought. What is the symbolism of four in the morning- if there is any sort of symbolism at all. Maybe it has to do with being in a state of restlessness. If one cannot fall asleep or stay asleep, they would be up at four. And why wouldn't someone be able to get a good night's rest? Is it because their mind is refusing to shut down all the thoughts and concerns going through their brain? They can't sleep, they have something on their mind, something that's forbidding them to get some rest. Maybe news that has sent shock waves through their system, or another individual that could be inflicting pain, or even tremendous amounts of joy that they're just to happy to sleep. Something that they want to keep thinking about over and over again.

The mind is an incredible thing. Just one thought is able to keep one up at 4 in the morning, or perhaps it's not just one thought, but a string of occurrences with another. Some events that you just can't cope with or comprehend quite correctly. Something that bothers you.

Is that the conclusion I had been searching for? The symbolism for being up at four in the morning is because somethings on one's mind that they just don't know how to handle so they vigorously search for an answer and in doing so they refuse to let their brain have a break until they've come to a conclusion. So in fact, it is not the brain keeping one up, its the individual keeping the brain up, being persistent until something is clear or pure exhaustion. Whichever comes first.

So that is what the musician does to cope with that thought that is keeping them up. They write a song about it, and hope in doing so they can give ones self peace of mind and get rest. I wonder how long that takes...

feelings // emotions

e⋅mo⋅tion
–noun
1.an affective state of consciousness in which joy, sorrow, fear, hate, or the like, is experienced, as distinguished from cognitive and volitional states of consciousness.

One morning in church, the pastor's sermon was about feelings and emotions. And in that, he said that we are supposed to have emotions, that they are a good thing to express, but we should not let our emotions control us. For example if you're upset about getting a C on a test, it is wrong to take it out on your little brother, because he was not the one to give you the C on your test. However, there is a fine line about not expressing emotions, and repressing them, or just shoving it down, is also wrong. He did mention that it is from one extreme to another. But I don't understand where the medium is. Are we supposed to smile at others, even though we're furious on the inside? No, that would be fake, I don't think that's right. I simply don't understand how exactly one can express their emotions by still staying in control of them. When I think control, I think not needing to express any emotion, wouldn't that make sense? If you were in control of your emotions you wouldn't feel the need to express them. But no, according to my pastor, that is not correct.

I think it would just be easier if there wasn't such a thing as emotion or feelings. So many complications would be eliminated if we didn't have to worry about how something would make one feel. So many times in my life do I quote the Ramones and think "I want to be a teenage lobotomy..."
The book The Giver kind of experiments with the idea of minimizing emotion, which today, most would consider inhumane. But is it really such a bad idea? Imagine not being able to experience hurt, or sadness, or anger- how would the world look today? Would there still be crime? Would we still need rules?

But in a way, that idea is going back to what my pastor was saying, how we need to be in control of our emotions. Is it possible to still be angry, but not to react in anger? I can't fathom it. I love the idea of it though, of being able to be so in control of my emotions that I can reduce the number of mistakes that I make, that I can be able to acknowledge the fact that I am sad, but still think rationally. I have no idea what that would look like though, so how do I attain in doing such?

I tend to repress my emotions, I do have a few people that I can talk to about something that's on my mind, but I don't make my problems public news. I would absolutely loathe that kind of attention, I look at it as my business, and only mine. I am very selective of who I can really talk to, but I don't think I'm an emotionless zombie around everyone else. I love to smile and laugh, and I can sympathize at most times, so I feel I am a relatively bearable person to be around. Yet, I could be completely off my rocker, who knows.

Maybe I'll have an epiphany, and suddenly everything will become clear. Or perhaps its only obtained from steady practice. Either way, my ability to understand the concept of being in control of my emotions is currently just a thought and not an action.

I can't believe that you actually died

Death is something that we all have experience dealing with. Perhaps dealing isn't the proper word, more so to handle I think. Nevertheless, we've all come across it, and there are numerous songs out there that reflect the feelings one has towards death; of how it's altered their life style or changed their perspective or whatever they wish to express. Most songs I've heard describe the bitter mourning one has to a lost loved one, and the ambiance given off is the same. It puts the listener into a depressed mood, they suddenly feel for the musician, they depict them. Just as if the loss was one of their very own.

I imagine that is just what the musician is trying to do. To have their audience better understand whats hurting them, and to make their audience feel them same hurt, because those who do hurt want others to hurt as well. Like its not fair if only they are having a miserable time. For some reason it is alleviating to them. Which is a bit of ironic; to make someone else upset to make yourself feel better.

However I do know that not all feel in such a way. I do know that yes, some can grieve and feel the suffering just as the others, but also enjoy life its self. Some can have an amiable view on death. Like it's a peaceful thing and they accept the fact that it does happen. That everyone does have to feel the hurt of it, but they can still get through it. Like being optimistic is the appropriate action to take during the time of loss. Which can be a hard thing to do, but undoubtedly possible.

I found a band who do take a bit of a positive view on death, (also introduced to me by my cousin) The Microphones sing a song "I can't believe you actually died". Their song reflects the sort of shock they feel because of death, but they still take it as a consolatory thing and I find what they have to say overwhelmingly true. Have a listen.

Hunky Dory

Today is David Bowie's 62nd birthday.

This may come as a shock to most, considering the generation I am a part of, but I sincerely love David Bowie. True, he is an odd character, one can tell that just be his appearance, but it's something about his peculiarity that I am drawn to.

It is weird, that I find such joy in this man's music. But there is something about his instrumental accumulation, his up beat lyrics, his friendly voice- the combination is one that I yearn for, in down times especially. More so recognizable in the 70's, but he has been a rock sensation since the late 60's and well into the 90's. He is weird, I know that. And I know there really isn't another way to describe him. Perhaps he would prefer the term eccentric, odd, maybe even bizarre, but nevertheless, they are all words of abnormal character- which is exactly David Bowie.

For those of you who are reading this and can't recall the name David Bowie, let me give you a little background information...
First off he was born on January 8, 1947 in London. (Maybe that's another factor to my small obsession, I have a thing for British musicians.) And was a part of a few British bands in the mid sixties. I have to admit, I don't think I've heard much of his music that was produced then, but now I feel obligated to look into it. I do know of his music after he decided to go solo though- "space oddity" in the year 1969. (ironically enough, also the year that America landed on the moon.) He has had many top hits, from 1969 to 1999. This is includes "changes" and "golden years". David Bowie was greatly inspired by the whole space theme, and made quite a trend of it. From his music to his style, he was undoubtedly original.

These pictures are more the mid 70's rather than the early 70's, but great representations of David Bowie's incomparable style.

Some of my favorites are from the seventies. One album that I truly adore is Hunky Dory which came out in the year 1971. It includes the infamous track "changes" and a couple of my personal favorites "oh! you pretty things" and "kooks". My cousin gave me the album for my birthday quite a few years ago, and it still remains beloved in my collection of music.

His song "golden years" is the epitome of what a 70's song should be. I think anyways. It's ideal, everything about it screams 70's, which would make sense since it came out in 1975, but still... I think David Bowie hit the nail on the head with that song, making it a classic till this day. Here, listen for yourself, and then try to tell me it does not sound like the representation of the 70's era. I doubt you will be able to achieve such a thing without lying to yourself.



David Bowie performed this song on the show Soul Train which was a primarily black musician show at the time. Bowie was one of the first white people to perform and when doing so, he played his song "golden years." The video above is his performance on Soul Train.....
EnJoY! :)