An Evaluation of Myself....

I have come to the conclusion that I am by far, the worst story teller ever. In my mind, I always seem to have something to share that's humorous and witty, or interesting and entertaining, and maybe what I have to say is, but my delivery is never so, and I think I've come to a number of reasons as to why I simply cannot share an interesting story, or make my presentation of it worth my audience's time. Here's the thing, for whatever reason, I always feel obligated to go into intricate detail when sharing something. I have to establish the setting, introduce the characters and explain why or what made me bring the story up, like what triggered me to think of that little excerpt in my life. By that time I recognize the fact that my story is completely pointless, and then I instantly want the attention off of me, so I quickly try to finish up the story and attempt to get to the point, or how it even relates to the previously discussed topic, and I end up stumbling over my words and leaving parts out resulting in further explanation and just more attention drawn to me and my foolish terrible story telling self.

This is why I have responsibly made the decision to be a listener rather than a talker. There is a quote stating something along the lines of the reason we have two ears and one mouth is because we’re supposed to listen twice as much as we speak. There you have it, I’ll just be listening enough for the rest of us.

randomly being unproductive

So I randomly found this on a random person's blog so I decided to randomly do it my self.
It makes me think of middle school chain letters from myspace.

The rules are:
1. Fill it out
2. Change one question with one of your own
3. Add an additional question
4. Tag 3 other people to do the same


1. What are your current obsessions?Prep for senior year, thinking about college, wanting it to be summer.


2. Which item from your closet are you wearing most often? My favorite blue denim jeans from express


3. Last thing you bought for yourself? Makeup



4. What's your favorite thing about the holidays? family, no school

5. Favorite thing to do on the weekend? relax

6. What is one item you could not live without? my phone and car (I need both)

7. Vacation spots you must visit before you die? all the major European countries, and Australia

8. Three things to do before you die: go sky diving, meet someone famous, grow a garden

9. What are you reading right now? I'm about to start Breaking Dawn....

10. What is the last movie you saw and enjoyed? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

11. What’s your guilty pleasure? dark chocolate

12. What’s your favorite smell? rain, fresh air

13. Best thing you ate or drank lately? my mom made me an amazing omelet this morning :)

14. Favorite Quote? "To get what you have never had, you must do what you've never done."

15. Describe one of your happiest moments. anytime that involved laughter

16. Whats one thing you can't go a day with out doing? talking

17. What do you have an addiction to? fashion magazines and underground music

18. Whats your favorite holiday? Thanksgiving -my grandma makes a pumpkin pie, just for me :)
19. How many pairs of shoes (not just running) do you have?? I'm not about to go count, a lot.

20. What can almost always make your day? Laughing.

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.”

That's a quote I found. However I don't think they're sad words, I think they're words that prevent growth. They're words that makes one continuously dwell on the past and disrupt one from moving on. It is very nearly a pathetic excuse.
It's like one cannot come up with a better reason for why something is as it is, so they mope around all day, feeling sorry for them self and murmuring "if only" over and over again. It is just that which is preventing them from moving on, from bettering the situation, they just think how things could be rather than how they are. They come up with some notion that wishing and hoping that things are different will change their situation but indeed is does not. There is only one statement I have to make about these people. GET OVER IT. Quite frankly I think everyone is capable of moving on. There is no reason for them to sit around, feeling sorry for them self and thinking poor me, if only....
I am so irritated with whoever came up with this quote. They think they're being deep, and portraying some sort of enlightening meaning, but they are doing just the opposite. They aren't helping anyone, they're just giving another excuse for someone not to try harder, or give them a reason as to why they aren't doing anything with their life. If we all sat around thinking if only, nothing productive would ever become of us and society would slow down from the energetic, successful and well oiled machine it is today and become nothing more than the sludge that builds up in the engine of a car. And what for? Because simply everyone has made the decision to not move forward and to merely believe they are incapable of doing anything.
I think a much better saying to go by would be MOVE ON. Seriously, stuff happens in every one's life everyday, and singling yourself out, thinking that for whatever reason you have it the worst is pathetic. NO ONE has the excuse to use the phrase if only. Those two words are worthless when put together, and no one should abide by them. I do not feel sorry for anyone who feels sorry for them self; no one should.
So, if you are one who finds yourself guilty of such an act, I suggest you fix it. Living life will be a lot more stimulating and worth your while if you make better of the situation.
"When Life Gives You Lemons, Make Lemonade."

Normally I tend to put a lot of thought into my blogs and I try analyze my thoughts and thinking so my posts usually have some depth to them, but at the moment I'm not feeling the usual thinking and somewhat serious theme that I normally abide by. So I'm in search of a lighter topic.

I have seemed to misplace my ipod, which generally brings about inspiration, so I am lost.

Though I do have some rather exciting (to me) news to share. While doing some research on a band that I can't seem to get enough of (thanks to the same cousin) I stumbled across a website that had an excerpt about four in the morning....

"It's now on the track, "Still Life With Bottle Rockets". "...everything seems better when everyone's asleep..". That's true here at 4 am. This is the time things quiet down -- the loud drunks on the corner have teetered home and traffic is almost nonexistent. I treasure this time of silence because I sure don't have it during the day. I've had to make myself believe the constant traffic sounds are waves when I'm trying to get to sleep. "

Visit http://www.brendastardom.com/arch.asp?ArchID=817 to read the whole thing if you wish.

It is overwhelming on how much you can find on the Internet, while just trying to look up the lyrics of a song and then coming across something such as this. Obviously I knew I wasn't the only one who found something special about 4 in the morning, because my whole thought process was sparked by hearing it from songs, but it still put me in the slightest amount of shock and awe. I found it a pleasant experience to read a bit from someone who had something to say about the same topic as me. Though the thoughts aren't relevant to each other, I still think of the find as an exciting one. And for the record, she [brenda stardom] mentions she's confused as to where they are from, and I believe the answer is Ohio.

I wonder just how much people do have in common, just by looking on the Internet, what all could one discover? We had to do an activity in one of my classes regarding things that people have in common (favorite food, movie, music etc...) and the goal was to find ten people that you had something in common with. Honestly, I was a bit discouraged when the time was up and to return our seats that I only managed to find 4 others who had a little box with the same answer as mine. (obviously you have to know the activity to truly understand, because evidently I am no good at explaining it) True, I love being an individual and being interested in different things, but I don't want to be an outcast! I suppose in the end though, as long as my friends and family still love me, no matter what I do or don't have in common with them, it doesn't matter, but still....

of contradicting one's self

I always catch my brain contradicting it's self. On many topics for that matter. Whether it's a simple statement like wrestling is the toughest sport, or something a little more in depth like abortion is bad. But doesn't everyone contradict them self? It seems rather impossible to stick to only one point of view I think, to not even try the least bit to decipher from another angle. But in doing so, its difficult to make a decision. But that's a common problem, many weigh the pros and con's of situations or major adjustments.

I for one find it's nearly impossible to make decision, even its a simple, like choosing a movie to watch, which is certainly not a life or death situation, so what does it matter? I think of as a disability, my grandmother views it as a gift. See, contradicting myself on what contradicting even is.

It's a weakness I think. I remember watching movies when I was little (not that I don't watch movies anymore) and whenever the "bad guy" would get punished in the end, I couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him, even if he was positively awful to the "good guy". Now I don't think I'm like that much any more, maybe because I know better than then that it's just a movie, and not really real. Maybe it contributes to mercy, which made me just think of a Knight's Tale(poor Heath) and a quote "He shows mercy" which was quickly responded to by "He shows weakness" Maybe its more mercy that I have rather than just contradicting myself.

But no, it has to be contradicting because it's siding with all sides. Which is why it's rather difficult for me to make a strong argument, because I can't pick a side. OR maybe it gives me the ability to make a stronger argument, because I know what the opposing side will try to use to defend their view, and I'll just be able to shoot it down that much easier.

Maybe I'll just stick to things that don't force me to make an argument, that way I'll never have to really test out this theory. Though maybe given a topic to defend would be something that I could do, because then I would already know which side I was on, and simply would just have to state evidence to back it up. I don't know, maybe I'll never ever ever have to find out.

OR maybe there is a profession specifically needing one who specializes in contradicting, I'm sure I'd be good at it.

Coincidences

"Coincidences, in general, are great stumbling blocks in the way of that class of thinkers who have been educated to know nothing of the theory of probabilities- that theory to which the most glorious objects of human research are indebted for the most glorious of illustration." -Edgar Allan Poe

I had to read this quote a few times, it didn't exactly click right away. But once I did make an understanding of it, I realized that I love Poe's perspective and ways of thinking even more. Poe seems to question everything, and finds a way to make the surest thing we know, questionable. He takes the example of coincidences to prove a way of how what we thought we know, can be wrong. It then leads one to think, what are coincidences exactly? How does one define a coincidence?

Coincidence

1.a striking occurrence of two or more events at one time apparently by mere chance
2. the condition or fact of coinciding.
3. an instance of this.

But it's a subject to ponder I think. What is a coincidence? Where does one draw the line between coincidence and fate? Does either even exist? What Poe thinks is that "smart people" just use it as an excuse because they have no better reason to explain the outcome of something.

I don't think there is such a thing as a "coincidence". I think everything happens for a reason and each event that occurs has it's own sole purpose. Mere chance was mentioned in one of the dictionary definitions, but how can something happen simply by mere chance? Strangely enough, I can't fathom mere chance, but for a purpose makes sense to me, even if the purpose isn't clear at the time, it always reveals its self eventually, doesn't it?

I remember watching a movie that was almost all about fate and whether or not it exists, and a quote one of the characters said "if a guy gets hit by a bus I think it was because he wasn't looking, not because of some master plan" and of course, by the end of the movie, this character does believe in fate after all, but that's just Hollywood. The movie is Fools Rush In, just in case you were curious.

Religious views would interact with this subject too. Some would argue that there is a higher power that is just in complete control of everything, and being a Christian, I agree with that. But even if someone didn't believe in a higher power, how do they define a coincidence? Do they really believe that some things just happen for reason? Why would they even happen then?

Maybe the purpose is to learn with mostly all occurrences, the best way to learn is by experience.

Oh coincidences, they leave me with yet another blog that has no conclusion.

sappy love songs

Sappy love songs, they’re something that I know, girls especially like to get wrapped in and think of “awwh how sweet.” Quite frankly, I’m not much impressed with what all today’s artists have to say about “being in love”. First of all, we have young singers, like 17 years old young singing about love. I don’t think someone can fall hopelessly and truly in love when they’re 17 years old. Except for Bella that is, but that’s just because she has Edward…. well and Jake too -completely different situation. And second, saying "I want to make love right now" isn't any better than saying "lets get it on", which unsurprisingly, is something one would hear in a song today. Unoriginal lyrics that lack creativity annoy me. On the other hand though, it could be argued that they're just being honest I guess, but being a music is an art, it deserves some genuine thought and attention. Simple beats and dumb lyrics would not classify as art to me.

I understand that artists want to use the word love to represent a passionate emotion, but I think it takes a true artist to show just how much they care for someone, and describe so without using the “L word.”

However this is the way I see it. The 60’s and 70’s was all about free love, that was their era, and we need to establish our own. So songs that were produced then are more than acceptable to say I love you I love you I love you because they were there first, it’s like today’s pop music is just a copy cat of what the musicians back then felt. Now I know emotions and feelings don’t necessarily change through time, so I would not say different emotions would be what I am looking for, no, just a creative way to say “I love you” (or her or him) without literally doing so. Would that be difficult? I couldn’t tell you, I’m no musician.

It must be difficult though, to generate something fresh and original, it seems like there's so much out there already that it would be nearly impossible not to sound like someone else. With that said, I do give musicians credit for at least trying. Yet I continue to remain unimpressed with the majority of music that is considered "good" today. But I am my own critique, and I feel I have the right to be as harsh and as particular as I please, after all, I'm not the one performing.

of Regret

We all makes mistakes. I would say that feeling regret after making the mistake is a common emotion of all human beings. With some mistakes, it is easy enough just to acknowledge it, know to not do it again, and then move on. But then there are some that burn a hole in your skull and constantly irritate, and soon alter one's perception and thinking, because they have the little voice of regret that won't go away. That makes their stomach churn just to bring up the very thought of their mistake, that makes them want to find someway to make themselves feel better by trying to make it up in some way, or to stoop down to other's level to make their mistake not seem as treacherous.

I had a friend tell me that I regret too much, but as I see it, wouldn't that simply just show that I care?

I think people's personalities reflect whether or not they have many regrets in their life. Sometimes it's like they're walking on egg shells and just terrified of making a mistake. Other times they just walk around with out a care, already making the exception that they're an "awful" person and it's not worth trying to change because that is what they are. However, most try to play it off as they never regret, that they simply just take it as a learning experience, I'm sure, just as everyone else would, like to think that is true. Yet I find that ridiculous, the only reason someone would not claim feeling regret is because they regret the fact that they can even feel such an emotion. They want to think they are above it, but emphasizing how much they are blatantly exposes them. No one is fooled here. Those who take their mistakes lightly lack in care for the situation, they honestly aren't much better then the rest of us. They can't walk around with their head held high thinking I am above regret. >> No, you're not. They are insecure impostors who have to put on a front because they really do regret things in life.

Regret isn't a crippling emotion. It is an acknowledgment of mistakes, and evaluation to better one's self, a representation of utter concern. Not a dark and ugly feeling that someone can pose as an excuse for not doing, or doing something. It should be used as a learning tool, and nothing else.