reading

I love reading. Reading things that interest me anyway. It's the ideal escape for me. I can go anywhere at any time and be any one. I do have a weakness when it comes to reading though, I tend to be somewhat obsessive. Once I start something that captures my interest, I become consumed by it, until I am content. Rarely is it ever just a moiety, no, I usually refuse to cease until I have completed the entire piece. Whether it's 5 or 500 pages. I simply do not have the control to stop. However, when I do finish, there's always a feeling of dolefulness. My little high vanishes. There is no longer anything to anticipate, to be eager for. There is an emptiness that has developed. Instead of fulfilling the hole, it only expands it. The ending of my new acquisition though, affects my reaction. Not always am I so depressed over the fact that the story has ended. Sometimes I feel as though I was walk away with a new perception on something, or start to generate new and original ideas of my own. Maybe even a sense of relief that everything has at last, come to a conclusion. But not a concrete conclusion leaves me aggravated. I don't like being left with lots of questions. It makes me unsound. Like there is something missing. It's ridiculous, I know. To get so wrapped up something that technically does not exist. To let my emotions be affected by a segment of fictional literature. I can't help but hold on to a fragment of hope that it is real. That soon enough, my little story will be recorded and dispersed through out the country for others to enjoy. That would be cool for me, to become a writer such as the ones I appreciate. To have people adore my thoughts and views as if I were someone of importance.

That's what I believe makes me want to read. I admire those who can, and those who are successful at it. A hint of jealousy perhaps, but not nearly enough to prevent me of taking delight in other's work. I like things that make me think. Not so much that I am in circles and my brain hurts and I still don't have an understanding, but something that expands my traditional thought process. I love getting other people's opinions as well, and hearing things that they love to consume their brain with. Trying new things is always something that I take part in though.

Fictional stories are a favorite of mine. More so realistic fiction. I've tried reading some fantasy and science fiction, but I'm not particularly a fan. I like poetry a lot. It's something that has meaning and makes me think a little bit. I love reading old English as well. Shakespeare and Montaigne are two I relish in trying to interpret. They aren't ones that I could read all the time, but in small doses they can be a pleasure. I assume it's because I am fascinated by things I don't know of, or little about. However I don't like going too in depth with such things. I have a short attention span, especially when it comes to learning. I know that the idea of a short attention span can be controlled, but that is a skill that I have yet to obtain.

I can't fathom the idea of being illiterate. I suppose it would be like trying to read a foreign language, which I can imagine, is frustrating. To really think about reading, and how we do it blows me away. How did I all of a sudden be able to glance at a magazine cover and know what it consists of. And how reading is used all the time every single day. From text messaging to following directions to some one's house. In this society, it seems simply impossible to survive if one is unable to read. And for whatever reason, I am currently full of abundant thanks to my grade school teachers for helping me become acceptable in society. I don't remember going through it, the learning to read process I mean. Or looking at a sentence and having no idea where to even start with trying to tackle it. I do remember learning to spell thought, which is something I continue to do almost everyday. That's besides the point of reading though.

It's just incredible I think, that something as reading can be used as entertainment or education. Two things that some may consider exact opposites. At this moment, I am just glad that I can read, for whatever purpose needed, I'm just capable of it.