ugh

I give up. My computer is taking a turn for the worst, and simply not wanting to save any of the work that I must be wasting my time on, considering it will not save. Blogger included in this act. Let's just say while trying to post my last blog it came up as an error and when I clicked to go back, only the first paragraph remained of my lengthy entry. I'm aggravated by these doings. Arguh. I suppose everything happens for a reason, no matter how much time and effort I put into something, if it's not meant to be then it will not be.

artists and passion, but mostly passion

art⋅ist
–noun
1.a person who produces works in any of the arts that are primarily subject to aesthetic criteria.
2.a person who practices one of the fine arts, esp. a painter or sculptor.
3.a person whose trade or profession requires a knowledge of design, drawing, painting, etc.: a commercial artist.
4.a person who works in one of the performing arts, as an actor, musician, or singer; a public performer: a mime artist; an artist of the dance.
5.a person whose work exhibits exceptional skill.



pas⋅sion 
–noun
1.any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
6.a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything: a passion for music.
7.the object of such a fondness or desire
8.an outburst of strong emotion or feeling: He suddenly broke into a passion of bitter words.
9.violent anger.
10.the state of being acted upon or affected by something external, esp. something alien to one's nature or one's customary behavior.

There are several ways that one can define "artist". But I personally think it all comes down one common ground, which is a reflection of passion. Passion is an intense emotion, it's a drive, almost an uncontrollable force. It is the work of perfectionists. Like the little voice inside ones head saying no such thing as ones best, one can always do better. Which is true. If you're passionate about something, there is no turning back, its a go big or go home situation, otherwise why even bother?

The word passion I believe is used too lightly. Of course it's used to display a strong sense of emotion, to get a dramatic point across. But I believe that it is a word shouldn't be taken half-heartedly. It's a deep word, used to describe deep people. Artists are by nature, emotional and sensitive beings- I'm sure if an artist showed you a collection or portfolio of theirs, and labeled it as something they were passionate about, and you, the insignificant bystander didn't take it as being as in depth as it should- would sincerely hurt the artist. That last sentence was sloppy. What I am trying to define is that the word passion is of ones who are passionate- who put heart into their work, no matter what sort of work it is. And when one is passionate about something, it is difficult to put aside feelings, especially when one does not take them, or their work, for being genuine.

Being proud can be an outcome of passion though. Spending infinite amounts of time and energy in to one specific thing is a side affect of passion I would say. You enjoy the thing you're passionate about, and you come to the conclusion that it is worth it, the time and energy you spend in that one thing. However, maybe being passionate about something fails to reveal a specific purpose. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS? Its something you must ask yourself before spending the prolonged time and commitment. On the other hand though, your response may be WHY NOT?

Why not put effort into something you enjoy, even if it represents no ideal purpose for its being?
Why not give yourself the opportunity to be proud? I know from personal experience that when you're proud of something, its difficult to compose ones self when others don't appreciate your work for what you believe its worth. But if you're proud of it, then what else matters really? One doesn't take part in an activity of passion for another. I believe that is not the correct motive for passion. It should be for ones self. For the joy of completing something that you have spent endless amounts of time into and loving the outcome. That is what I would believe is classified as passion.

reading

I love reading. Reading things that interest me anyway. It's the ideal escape for me. I can go anywhere at any time and be any one. I do have a weakness when it comes to reading though, I tend to be somewhat obsessive. Once I start something that captures my interest, I become consumed by it, until I am content. Rarely is it ever just a moiety, no, I usually refuse to cease until I have completed the entire piece. Whether it's 5 or 500 pages. I simply do not have the control to stop. However, when I do finish, there's always a feeling of dolefulness. My little high vanishes. There is no longer anything to anticipate, to be eager for. There is an emptiness that has developed. Instead of fulfilling the hole, it only expands it. The ending of my new acquisition though, affects my reaction. Not always am I so depressed over the fact that the story has ended. Sometimes I feel as though I was walk away with a new perception on something, or start to generate new and original ideas of my own. Maybe even a sense of relief that everything has at last, come to a conclusion. But not a concrete conclusion leaves me aggravated. I don't like being left with lots of questions. It makes me unsound. Like there is something missing. It's ridiculous, I know. To get so wrapped up something that technically does not exist. To let my emotions be affected by a segment of fictional literature. I can't help but hold on to a fragment of hope that it is real. That soon enough, my little story will be recorded and dispersed through out the country for others to enjoy. That would be cool for me, to become a writer such as the ones I appreciate. To have people adore my thoughts and views as if I were someone of importance.

That's what I believe makes me want to read. I admire those who can, and those who are successful at it. A hint of jealousy perhaps, but not nearly enough to prevent me of taking delight in other's work. I like things that make me think. Not so much that I am in circles and my brain hurts and I still don't have an understanding, but something that expands my traditional thought process. I love getting other people's opinions as well, and hearing things that they love to consume their brain with. Trying new things is always something that I take part in though.

Fictional stories are a favorite of mine. More so realistic fiction. I've tried reading some fantasy and science fiction, but I'm not particularly a fan. I like poetry a lot. It's something that has meaning and makes me think a little bit. I love reading old English as well. Shakespeare and Montaigne are two I relish in trying to interpret. They aren't ones that I could read all the time, but in small doses they can be a pleasure. I assume it's because I am fascinated by things I don't know of, or little about. However I don't like going too in depth with such things. I have a short attention span, especially when it comes to learning. I know that the idea of a short attention span can be controlled, but that is a skill that I have yet to obtain.

I can't fathom the idea of being illiterate. I suppose it would be like trying to read a foreign language, which I can imagine, is frustrating. To really think about reading, and how we do it blows me away. How did I all of a sudden be able to glance at a magazine cover and know what it consists of. And how reading is used all the time every single day. From text messaging to following directions to some one's house. In this society, it seems simply impossible to survive if one is unable to read. And for whatever reason, I am currently full of abundant thanks to my grade school teachers for helping me become acceptable in society. I don't remember going through it, the learning to read process I mean. Or looking at a sentence and having no idea where to even start with trying to tackle it. I do remember learning to spell thought, which is something I continue to do almost everyday. That's besides the point of reading though.

It's just incredible I think, that something as reading can be used as entertainment or education. Two things that some may consider exact opposites. At this moment, I am just glad that I can read, for whatever purpose needed, I'm just capable of it.

Annie Leibovitz.

I love photography. I can really appreciate it. There is one photographer that I would have to claim as a favorite, and her name is Annie Leibovitz. Many may of heard of her because of the drama with Miley Cirus last summer, claiming her photos were sleazy- but never the less I still admire Annie's work greatly. She photographs celebrities mostly. And with that she seems to posses an endless fountain of creative ways to shoot pictures of them. My favorites of hers though, are one's she does for VOGUE and other fashion clips.

Annie also did a photo shoot inspired by classic Disney stories, like Alice in Wonderland. I adored these photos and greatly admire Annie's creativity and talent. I'm sure her photos were just as much fun to take as they are to look at. But I wonder where she gets all of this talent and creativity from. I know that there are numerous artists out there that have bold and eye catching pieces, but there is something about Annie's vision I just find breath taking. However, on the flip side, there are some photos that I'm not exactly fond of. I personally have never been one to understand the art of the human naked body, or what kind of symbolism it is supposed to portray. Annie seems to have a taste for naked photos, though they aren't ones that expose completely. I suppose I just love clothes and I see the fashion pictures she takes that I just don't understand why she wouldn't want to do that all of the time. A bit of variety makes things interesting I guess. Taking pictures of similar things and styles become quite a bore I imagine.

This picture was the first one of the bunch that I found on google. I was initially intrigued of the fact that it was such an optical illusion, after doing some further research, I discovered it was part of the Alice in Wonderland Vogue photo shoot.

When I watched this part when I was little, I was always so afraid for poor Alice. The Queen of Hearts was absolutely dreadful and I hated the fact that she was a cheater in their game as well.

The Cheshire cat was one of my favorite characters when I was little. An image that I always seem to recall is when he's in the tree and he slowly starts to disappear, stripe by stripe.

This is a personal favorite. I absolutely adore the suits that Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb are wearing, I think they're hilarious.

This is another optical illusion photo which just further stretches my amazement with what all the photo industry can do. I love it. The opportunities are endless.

The tea party was another part I loved. The two of those characters were just so wacky and chaotic. Perfectly fun for a child my age at the time.

Recalling the memory of this scene certainly made me laugh out loud. I love finding the hidden inappropriate parts of children's stories.

Now I know these pictures don't occur in order of the story, nor are they they entire photo shoot, but they are ones that I sincerely enjoyed and found amusing. And this is just a small excerpt of Annie's work, I'm sure I'll find another photo shoot of hers that I will fall in love with and then feel obligated to blog about. Photography is just so much fun when you find artists who are willing to take risks and experiment with it!

BOLD

BOLD

–adjective, -er, -est.
1. not hesitating or fearful in the face of actual or possible danger or rebuff; courageous and daring: a bold hero.

2. not hesitating to break the rules of propriety; forward; impudent: He apologized for being so bold as to speak to the emperor.
3. necessitating courage and daring; challenging: a bold adventure.
4. beyond the usual limits of conventional thought or action; imaginative: Einstein was a bold mathematician. a difficult problem needing a bold answer.
5. striking or conspicuous to the eye; flashy; showy: a bold pattern.
6. steep; abrupt: a bold promontory.
7. Nautical. deep enough to be navigable close to the shore: bold waters.
8. Printing. typeset in boldface.
9. Obsolete. trusting; assured.—Idiom
10. make bold, to presume or venture; dare: I made bold to offer my suggestion.

I am bold. In a subtle way at least. I have my opinions. But I tend to go off the "choose your battles" rule. I think differently, but accept others opinions, at least if they aren't ignorant as to what they are saying. I believe if one has an opinion, they should have reasons as to why, otherwise their opinion isn't authentic, and authentic opinions are the only respectable ones.

However, I would not consider scientific "facts" a good way to back up ones point. Not with some topics at least. Homosexuality and global warming are two that come to mind. Now, I'm not here to personally offend people, or to get into any form of an argument. I am a peace maker, which is why I tend to keep my bold thoughts to myself, and ones I know that won't judge me. I don't know where I'm going with this. I tell you that I have bold opinions, but then don't express them. So I guess you don't really know how bold I am or can be. Maybe I'm not bold at all, I could be a poser, and not really acknowledge it because it isn't often I take my boldness for a test run.

One thing that does hold me back from my boldness is that sometimes it can be classified as being rude. I don't like rude people. There's a line between telling how it is, and just trying to be rude, or hurtful. Girls know all about using words to be hurtful, and just about all are victims of it. But I can go into that another time.

I guess what I am really trying to say is that I would like to share my bold opinions, but in fear of being judged they are restrained. On the other hand, most of those reading this don't know whose blog this is, so I don't have much to lose. But it is high school and things go around, so I'm going to play it safe as of right now. Maybe after I establish myself as likable my true thoughts will be revealed.

Now this makes me sound like I can be a back-stabber, or two faced, or that I talk about people behind their back. But those kind of people are the exact reason that I tend to keep things to myself. A comment I make may be translated differently and get to someone, starting a fit and throwing people in to drama. I am not a fan of drama, I try to avoid it. I don't watch any of the MTV "reality" shows, like most people do. I don't find it interesting to sit in front of the TV and hear two girls talk about the girl who just left the room. Or to see a girl hook up with her best friends sweet heart. I fail to see the entertainment in that. But most of my cherished friends get into those shows, and I don't judge them, or anyone for the matter. Personal likes are personal likes and if they don't conflict with one another then all is well.

Now I know people who have bold personalities, and they tend to conflict with most, or even be intimidating perhaps. I don't think I'm like that, I try to be sensitive, but I guess we can't be always nice all the time. I welcome that. We all have off days, and life isn't always kind, and I try to be aware of those factors when I do feel its necessary to share my opinion. There are different environments that bold personalities are appropriate, and some that aren't. And I believe most can distinguish which is which, and if not, that would be a helpful trait to obtain.

i participate in the practices of criminals

I love dogs. They're an instant source of comfort. They love you unconditionally and are completely selfless. They're always there for you, they're whole word revolves around you, they are one of the most lovable things on this earth.

There's nothing better then laying on the floor and being greeted by a cold nose and droopy eyes in your face. Having their wet tongue lick your cheek as you look up at them. When they lay down next to you and rest their head on your shoulder. Their soft and warm fur up against your body. Their sweet puppy dog eyes looking at you and then away, as if they're afraid that they had just upset you.

These sweet puppy dog eyes are a weakness of mine. I cannot fight it, no matter how hard I try. Putting them to bed is the most difficult. My dog gets put away in a little room between the house and the garage at night. He has his big pillow of a dog bed, food and water in there, so it's a cozy little set up, however it does isolate him from everyone else. My dog is a curious one, he's always in the middle of everything- rarely does he go off by himself. It's as if he's afraid he'll miss something by being away from the action. And he knows being put to bed does exactly that. Each night, as I open the door and gesture to go in his little room, he just stands there. Looking at me. With the big puppy dog eyes. Head slightly cocked to the side. Him and I both knowing he really doesn't want to be put to bed. He makes me feel as if I'm banishing him away from the rest of us, like I'm trying to be rid of him, even though he gets let out immediately the following morning. He just stands there, looking at me. I heighten my tone to call him in, "come on boy! come here!" as if what I'm attempting, is exciting, like he'll enjoy it. He trusts me and quickly he comes up and sits, right at my feet, tail wagging with enthusiasm, looking up at me. Sincerely he believes that he's in for a treat. I can't do it, I can't trick this innocent mind into thinking we're really going to play, but I have to. Disregarding the fact that I had just done the act of a criminal and used his utter trust towards me against him. He doesn't even know it yet. Keeping the door open, I run into the room, and as anticipated, he follows. Of course he follows, he respects me, his reliance on my integrity is abundant. Shortly after, I turn around and the door shuts, catching a glimpse of his dejected and disenchanted eyes, just a moment before.

I know it's only part of routine. He has to be put to bed every night. He knows that. So why does he put up the struggle each night? Eventually he will catch on, and acknowledge the fact that I really am doing the dirty deed of putting him away. Away in his little room where no one else will be, where he'll be alone. For the entire night. But he's a dog. Why should I feel the self guilt of doing what I, as his owner is supposed to do? Why is it so difficult for me to be disciplined in keeping him disciplined? It surely isn't animal abuse. He has a nice set up if you ask me. He should love the fact of having his own space. His own territory that won't be disrupted by anyone else.

Making my way to my bed, I say these things to make me feel better about myself. He'll love me in the morning, he always does. Dogs don't hold grudges. But yet, his sad puppy dog eyes are a vision, burned into my skull that I can't seem to shake from my conscience. I love him, I really do. Can he comprehend the fact that I do care for him, even though I shut him away in the evening? It's not like I'm having a party, and blatantly not inviting him. I'm going to bed as well. We are both going to bed, just in different spaces.

Lying in bed, it dawned on me that the longer I dwell on the fact that I had tricked my dog into going to bed, the more I question as to why exactly is he put away in his own room anyway? Why do people do that with their dogs. Is it because they are dogs that one decides they need to have them sleep, pinned up? I know people who put their dogs in kennels at night. But why?

I then realize that I am being ridiculous. My dog doesn't take the fact that I have tricked him into consideration. He still loves me, and he always will. He doesn't take it offensively, and certainly doesn't interpret my acts as being criminal. It's simply a small duty that I have, and he respects that. Soon enough the morning will come and he will see me again and realize that he wasn't banned to such an awful place, but just a temporary living quarters during the evening. He'll still love me in the morning. And with that final thought, I drift to sleep.

Music

Music, something that just about everyone is familiar with. Now I'm not going to bore you with the typical there are many types of music, rap, rock, country, jazz... we already know all about that. And if you don't, I suggest you find another blog because this is for the more advanced listeners of music.

It's not my life by any means, but it certainly is a love, and not just music in general is the love, no, it's the love for all sorts of rock. From artists like underoath to oasis. Yes, it's a wide range of music, but it certainly is nothing close to country, R&B or "gangster". Sure, there is that rap song that everyone knows, that they play at ball games and dances, but that's not typically the type of music I take an interest into.


Lyrics, that's what I tend to pay attention to. Songs are good because of the lyrics, the message that the artist is trying to get across. That's what I believe makes truly great music artists, the fact that they themselves are literate and have deep thoughts and passionate feelings that they can translate into their songs. Now, don't get me wrong, I know there are plenty of rock songs talking about nothing more than getting drunk and laid, which is just what our society is just drawn to. But let me take an example of a song that people think is just about sex, and turn it around to show you what the artist is really getting at.

I know most know the song "addicted" by Saving Abel. Yeah, I know the perverted parts seems to be what everyone picks out of the song, but do you know what the song is really trying to say? Consider this line " theres just got to be more to you and me." Could it be possible that Saving Abel is trying to say they want more out of the relationship then just sex? I think it is. I know, the lyrics to this song are simple and repetitive, so I wouldn't classify it as a deep meaningful form of music, but it surfaces the whole concept of something with meaning.

When I say that I like a song, it's normally a song that the lyrics I can comply by. I seem to find a song that explains exactly my situation when I'm going through any sort of bump in the road, or if I'm just unbelievably happy or smitten. I even have pick-me-up songs that I listen to, to give me a shot of encouragment. "The middle" by Jimmy Eat World is one of them.