And now the wall goes up.

What do you do when your world has been turned upside down and the one you would usually go to, the one who would fix it and let you know everything is going to be ok, is the one who in fact, turned your world upside down?

And the sickest thing about the situation is that I love/loved (is there a difference?) him so much that I'm glad I am the one suffering with this heart break. I would never wish this kind of pain upon him. Ironically enough my silver lining is that it is me having to deal with this, not him.

Chocolate is the best medicine

Relationships can make you the happiest individual in the world, or the most miserable. It all depends on the status you have with that person. And when the status seems to go sour, that can make one absolutely hate life. It's hardest when things use to be so perfect. How does it happen that feelings change? That relationships grow apart? What causes that all to happen? Or what causes one person in the relationship's status to change from the others'? Why can't both be consistent and in sync? How can one say that they care about the other but have their actions show no such thing? Why is it so difficult to be straight forward and honest? How can one seem so great to the other and then all of sudden seem drab and dull? Is it because they have met someone else? What if they haven't? Then what is the answer? How can one continue to be so selfish when they see the other is bending backwards to try and maintain the relationship during difficult times? It's a team effort, right? And yet, how can one be too busy to try and explain what they mean when they say "It just doesn't seem to be working"?  So what does that mean? How can it be so difficult to simply say whether it is or is not worth fixing? Like they need a checklist of what the relationship entails and then be able to determine if they want to commit or not. WHO CARES ABOUT THE FUCKING CHECKLIST. The other individual either is or is not worth keeping in one's life and once decided which, (hopefully rather promptly, and if not, that is an answer in its self, don't you think?) the individual needs to act on that decision. Sometimes there is no "riding the fence" option.